[Bb0Y FaYTh]

read if you want..these are my reasons

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to





As i get older.. i realize that there are so much more burdens and just situations that i encounter that i really do not know how to respond to..the image i've shaped for myself over the years is getting harder and harder for me to live up to.. the advice i'd make.. the ideas i preach.. all seem to contradict and i grow frustrated knowing i only know, and not live for it. the ridiculous standards and foundations of what i want myself to be all seems so unrealistic and far away..

why do i envy and admire those that devote themselves so deeply and blindly into their own creation and artistic expressions..when i know they are empty inside..and long for an appreciation and purpose..

sometimes i wish to just give it all up. sometimes i just want to be normal and blind myself and create my own sense of security and just to be another passionate devoted slave to a lifestyle i want it to be.. to rep hard and flow without barriers..my inspirations seem to be deceiving attractions that i sometimes am willing to commit and follow if it could just make me feel comfortable. to call myself special when i shood be and am a jar of clay.. i try to up myself and value myself more than i really am worth to a point where i can only go on with the praise and acceptance of others..

but i'm just like one of them. i am one of them. i'd devote myself into something knowing that it wouldn't satisfy..i deliberately blind myself to dig deep into the depths of my mentality and reshaping, molding myself..once i realize that it is all meaningless i bounce off and am captivated by something else.. i'd keep my thoughts close to me. the thoughts i'd call my own..

Lord God i'm tired of this moving but it feels as if i can go on forever if thats what it takes for You to stop me..because the hardest thing to do seems feels like it is to stop myself..

I wish i could find my identity in you Lord..but to surrender my all is something that i'm too scared to do..the meaningless, pointless and selfish identity that i wear..my doubts and worries and impatience has a firm grip on me not letting me drop individuality..

If I could just KNOW You'd catch me.. if i would just blindly believe and with pure faith in know that You are good.. in knowing that You'd wash away these wounds.. knowing that the life you've chosen for me would be something that i'm okay with..

i'm so scared that if i drop my all and surrender myself.. if i do not heal.. if situations get worse and my security just breaks lose.. would i still believe?

Lord even if i am 99% sure that You have a way for me..im' still scared and do not have enough faith in knowing that You could provide.. if only i could only drop my everything and walk in the light as You are in the light..be identified in YOU and not whatever i want to be and call my own.. and not worry about how the turnout would be..

if i could just give my all even with some sort of doubt lingering on the other side..give all but one little peice of me still not truly faithful and yours, but then again.. that isn't giving at all.




read it if you want. www.xanga.com/faythful_breaka its on my xanga entry.

so yeah would i get back to it? perhaps. but for now i quit.

u see i used to have a vision of what i wanted to do with bboying.. i wished to use it as a sign of worship to my God and or an object of outreach to other bboys.. and people. what i have come to realize after 3 years is that.. i've been worshipping my own growth as a bboy.. and therefore practicing solely becuz i wanted to improve.. and isn't genuine worship to God and not really outreach but a way for me to get respect. i realized.. what i can do with bboying as a sign of worship is to stop bboying itself. its hard for me to not think about bboying. its hard for me to stop. but for me to delibrately just stop bboying BECAUSE of the Lord.. that's my sacrafice.. thats my worship. i think to some extent i did get to where i wanted my vision to b.. and i hope u guys really understand what i wrote..its aight if u dunt..but this is why i wanna stop bboying.

i love you guys. well some of you. if i let any of you down..

erock haha i always wanted to meet you..cam u know we'd meet up one day.. sorry lance..soviet..andrew.. haha stiff i dunt even talk to u but yeah i hope u read this. maybe i'll meet u later on.. but this is what i want to do. i challenge u all to rethink ur reason for dancing. for life even..

Howard Chang aka Fayth

[Bboy_Wrists]

love ya too man.. you were a dope dancer

[Bboy_Wrists]

you are a dope dancer

[D.J. Scrit]

i dont really talk to ya much....but i seen your moves....and dey r off da hook............man....you have like da sickest moves i ever seen bra.....peace....and i hope u do good with out bboyin.....

[Pierre_]

yo fayth, i kinda had a thread like this to, cept urs looks more deep...real deep...damn that some deep shit! bboyin for god...cant say anything about that. but im reconsidering...i hope you will too.

[Harry Popper']

Its obvious your a very talented bboy. God has given you this talent. Why not use the talents He has given you. Peeace.

[BbOi MuZiK]

ima goin to miss watchin yo vids and pix. i learned alot from dem. theyll still be hea but no new ones...

and da reason i dance is because its a gift from GOD, and anything from GOD, i will not waste...

Ima still lookin for da reason i live though...

I hope u cum bak everyonce in a while to chek on us...

-1 luv

[bboyjiggs]

I'm kinda new to bboying and i've only been a member of this site for a few weeks, but fayth, one of the first vids i downloaded was yours and ever since i saw it you have been my bboying idol, and i have a deep respect for your work, it saddens me that you are quitting, you seem like a truly genuine person, its hard to find people like that these days, i pray that you find what you are searching for

[short_bboy]

fayth so far you have been the best bboy ive seen on this site. it kills me to hear that ur leaving. and yea weve never talked but that shit was really deep and reached out to me. i really dont want you to leave, but if you feel that thats your righteous path, then take it.

[Mowicz]

In all my time here, I have only ever talked to you maybe 3 or 4 times, in various threads, so I have definately not exactly been really influenced by you...until I read this...You have just given me a new "hope for mankind" for lack of other words...I look around, see all this evil goin' around, and then there's a person like you popping up now and then...and maybe that's enough...personally, I disagree with your decision, whether or not it matters, however I understand and appreciate your motive, and am honoured to have had the pleasure of knowing someone willing to make that sacrifice...(It's none of my business, however if you care to read beyond, feel free...)

However...

There is nothing wrong with praise. Even Jesus was praised for "putting on a show" much like you put on a show while bboying...Jesus had the ability to heal the sick, you have the ability to bboy. And this is where a decision comes in; You could break for God and get praise, or not break for God and get praise. Stopping bboying is in a way, perhaps even mocking God. Here he's given you an ability that most others do not have, and you chose not to use it...as a sacrifice or not...I'm sure God wouldn't think of it that way, but you could do it for the greater good.

Take my example; I'm not some great bboy, or popper...however God gave me a gift in abstract thinking (Things like Relativity, or math). If I were to "give up" this gift for God, and purposely fail math for no reason, does it help him any? Of course not...however if I were to get 100% in a math course, I'd get some praise, sure....followed by lots and lots of hate and spite. The exact same is true of you and bboying. Many people are envious of your talent, and even more people wish to wipe out the competition, which is a fact you have to deal with...in my opinion, it's tougher to bboy than not to in that sense...so why not use it for a different reason? Instead of battling, and having major hoop dreams, raise some money...donate the money...etc.

Whether or not my feeble words have any impact on you or not, your decision is guided by your faith, and I am touched by it...God bless.

Peace.

[RapmastaF-fresh]

Usually, when people make a "I'm quitting thread." It's sometimes a cheap way to get some sympathy, empathy and pity.

To be completley honest, I didn't understand everything in your thread, but that's okay, cause I'm sure you didn't mean it for everyone to understand everything. I was pretty moved with your thread, you didn't beat around the bush. You have your reasons, and it's your desicion and yours alone. I trust you made the right one, but you'll always have friends here.

Best of luck in whatever you do, take it easy.

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Rapmasta

[soviet]

why do you have to stop dancing for god? he let you do it in the first place, assuming he exists

as far as the rest of it goes...you rememeber what I told you on AIM...hope your physical condition heals or hope your doctor finally knows what it is

[erock_BIS_NY]

damn man, alot of people seem to be quittin on this site...

I was reading this in my business class, and I took the challenge to think what I dance for...actually I thought about my entire bboy theory and why I do it and what I want to accomplish...

I dont have nothing against your decision because its your own choice and no one can tell you whats right better than yourself so I guess you're making the right choice, however, when you mention that you dont know for how long or if you're gonna start again...you know that you're gonna be back on the floor real soon...its impossible for me to quit, even if I wanted, from what I've seen in your vids and your posts, you wont be able to quit, the only thing thats a difference between us, is that Im a self proclaimed atheist, my only religion is bboying...despite the fact that I'm not on top, it is my life, there is other things I do, sure, but I consider bboying to be the most important...nothing else in life brings me so much joy as bboyin, nothing makes me feel better about myself or about life...thats why I cant stop, not because I have to succeed but because I simply dont want to...

I do want to be on top one day but I know it will take alot of work, so I practice as much as I can...there is days that I feel I'm on the right track, and feel like I'm ready for anything and ready to face anybody, but there is also days that I cant do anything, those make me feel that I might be wasting my time practicing so much since I still suck...

I'm telling you this so that you reconsider leaving bboying, if you feel about it like I do, you wont stop...faith and god is a whole different issue that I cant really comment on but I'll tell you who can....STIFF...., but personally I dont think you should stop because of it, unless there is another reason which you havent mentioned...

I still hope we meet at battle in the burbs and rip that shit with our wack shit....ehehhehe....REPRESENT

if my post dont make sense, do 5 airflares to a spinning airchair, hop onto your other hand and freeze it in an airbaby, then read it, might be easier to read then cause my body is really fucked up from all the practice I've been doing lately...pz, gotta go practice some more

bboy for life, EROCK

[Major Trix]

Well you probably don't know me to well.

But I've admired you ever since I've joined this site.

But it's your choice that your quiting, and I respect that.

But whatever happens your a dope bboy.

Much love.
Peace.

[dancing_pidgeon]

You are right on with the sacrificing everything to god thing, but I don't know if sacrificing your talent is what you need to do. I would think more along the lines of sacrificing ur sins. I don't know you personally, so I don't know what kinda life you live, but everyone makes mistakes, so everyone has sins. Those are what you need to sacrifice. I myself will be putting bboying on hold in less than 3 weeks cause I am going on a mission, but i'm not giving it up. 99% of my time will be didicated to god, but there will still be an hour a week that I will have for myself that i'm gonna rock it up. And after 2 years, when my mission is done, i'm gonna be back breakin full time. Well as full time as I can during college. I think it's awsome that you want to make a sacrifice to God, but I don't think you need to quit bboying altogether.

Besides man, you got skill. I was heading down the power head road, and ur vids were part of the reason I reformed. Peace.