[snoopy8]

Ok so I see that once the old Social Problems Thread got deleted by a special someone , other threads have pop out, and its a lot harder to keep them controlled because I dont always want to go looking around in threads to see if somebody is spamming or something, so Im recreating this to make it easier for other people to go cry about their problems in this thread... I would go first but Im actually cool right now lol




EDIT: I've noticed there's a lot of threads about personal problems and stuff, so I decided to merge them all up in this thread... again! In fact, I think I'm gonna sticky it to avoid having to tell people to search for it, that way I can just tell them to look up in the sticky section!

[ghirm]

OK, so I always thought that this was "rare" in guys, but has anyone ever heard of the "teddy-bear syndrome"? If not, it’s basically when a guy is always seen as the nice guy friend, who is to adorable to be considered a boyfriend.
I have this problem, and it is the most infuriating thing ever. Something about my personality gives girls the impression that im too nice of a guy for them to take seriously.
I've thought alot about this, and have been thinking about my problem is.
I think its cause im not "aggressive" enough. Not aggressive as in "DAMMIT WOMAN, TAKE YOUR PASS OFF AND GIVE ME SOME PUNANNI!"
I mean aggressive as in showing the girl that I like them, like subtle things touching them in a non creepy way, or joking around with them. I cant do that cause when I like a girl, I get kinda different. Like im scared that if i keep touching or being playful, it'd be creepy.
Im a really quite, serious looking person around new people but am pretty funny, and sometimes crazy. I don't think with my penis like SO many guys my age, i always rather have a serious relationship, but every girl that i've had even remotely serious emotions for (aka, nearly every girl that i've ever liked) didn't like me back cause of the "teddy-bear syndrome"
I always thought that i should should just stop being so nice, and learn to be a cold, asshole douche, seeing as thats who girls like. Then i realize how stupid that is because no one respects those kinds of guys.
Im a pretty intresting guy, though i lack in confidence. I do alot of stuff that are "cool" like bboy (which im new to, but can see myself doing for a long time), i've done slam poetry (which is a great outlet) play hella instruments, pretty musical, i actually listen to people, and im really compassionate towards people though and try to look at the good in everyone. I’ve been told that everyone respects me, cause im genuine, and not fake. All these things could be the parts that leads to the "teddy-bear syndrome" i don't know.
Ok, that was kinda a rant, just getting some things out. But heres my question/topic

For all those people who can relate to my story (which ive learned there alot of people like me), feel free to put your story in, cause like i said, i like to listen to other peoples opinions/stories.
Question: Who else have felt as if girls haven’t taken you seriously in the relationship way, because of the stuff above? Not just stuff from above, but also, other reasons why you think girls wouldn’t take you seriously in a relationship kind of way.

[n3wk1d]

Huh well... for me, ive never heard of that before haha. But i kinda get what your saying.
Kinda like, your always the friend, never the lover?
But look at it this way, at least your not totally rejected by them.

P.S Whats slam poetry????

[KiLLaBaNdaNnA]

[BbOyJeOpArDy]

dammit myke

[KiLLaBaNdaNnA]

lol wat did i beat you to it?

[jonnyz]

Teddy Bear Syndrome is all in your head. You must just not be dealing with the right girls. Are you a young teenager? The majority of girls around that age are more suited to the "pushy" sort of approach by males rather than the "nice" approach.

You actually sound a lot like me, so I'll tell you my story.

I was fortunate, in that I was like you but luckily found a good girl at the age of 13/14, and I've been with her ever since. I didn't need to act like an asshole, I didn't need to buy her expensive gifts or anything. We just dug each other, I enjoyed spending time with her and she enjoyed spending time with me. Before we started going out, we were friends. I was well and truly in the friend zone. Is there even such a thing? Why does it matter whether you're friends with a girl or not? Does that automatically mean you can't be attracted to her as a partner?

We were just friends, then we saw that we were into each other and decided to be officially in a relationship. It didn't change us one bit, except that we were now "allowed" to kiss and do all of that stuff. But at the core of our relationship was the fact that we were close friends, and it held us together. That's why our relationship survived while everyone else's would fall apart as quickly as they were slapped together.

At the age of 16 I lost my virginity. Me. A society opposing, nerdy, philosophical, confidence-lacking, music-loving, immature fool. I didn't have to pressure her, it just happened.

I'm not saying I'm some awesome guy who has to do nothing to get girls, because that just isn't the way it is. All I'm saying is you might just be messing with the wrong people if things aren't working out for you. And why not just be real with a girl, if you like her and think she's cool... Just tell her, hey, I like you.

Just remember, life is easy. Every problem in your life is created by you, in your head, and isn't a real problem. Nobody is better than you, but nobody is worse than you. Success and failure are perceptions and aren't absolute.

[giovannile07]

Well, I am a really nice guy everyone thinks that... Some girls think that I'm mature. I like bboying and I make some poems like you. I'm not sure why girls don't like me almost every girl I've ever liked never liked me... We kind of sound like the same except I don't know if you're shy and sensitive like me. Sensitivity really gets me... probably why this girl I use to like didn't like me. I think I was way to sensitive. I'm really shy so I can annoy girls on AIM easier since it's harder to talk to them in person. So, I think my weak points are because I'm sensitive and shy, but I don't think nice is one of them, but if girls like older guys because they're more mature why don't they like me... :[

[IC3]

You mean you're to 'STRAIGHT' FOWARD?

Like in a mature way?

[mixedwell]

Originally Posted by KiLLaBaNdaNnA lol wat did i beat you to it?

deng. When I read it I was like NICEGUYYY!
>_< But you beatteded me.

[Rubix]

Originally Posted by ghirm Im a pretty intresting guy, though i lack in confidence. I do alot of stuff that are "cool" like bboy (which im new to, but can see myself doing for a long time), i've done slam poetry (which is a great outlet) play hella instruments, pretty musical, i actually listen to people, and im really compassionate towards people though and try to look at the good in everyone. I’ve been told that everyone respects me, cause im genuine, and not fake.

dude y would u become an asshole if ur like tht lol

u r like a really nice guy, jus wait 4 a gurl like you....

my advice is dont sweat it, jus wait and she'll come

peace easy

[BBoyM5]

I have never heard of this "teddy bear syndrome" or whatever but holy crap I was tweakin out when I read all these. I would never have guessed it could happen but all of these stories are exactly what I would have to say. I guess we're not alone huh?

I am kinda seen like a geek and I was kinda shy and everyone knew I was just kinda quiet and nobody knew me at all.

Well this year in school was the greatest... I am VERY athletic and never showed it, and I mean really athletic as I Bboy and do parkour and stuff all by myself. A couple dances came around this year and at the first one I put my hood on in the middle of the dance, got the DJ to make a circle and I went out there for the first time in front of kids and I did crazy awesome. I had never danced in front of people but I had been Bboying for about a year before, so I had windmills, flares, backflips and all footwork down really well, (I've been doing backflips since I was younger anyway). Anywho I put my hood on and rolled my jeans up and went crazy, I felt the music and all went well, but it was a dance exclusive to my school and yet nobody could really figure out who the heck it was out there.

Afterwards I walked away with the hood on and only a few people got to figure out it was really me, but the word sure as hell got out. I didn't hear anything but I know about it because people look at me so different now, they never saw it coming (in my school most have never seen a windill flare or backflip in person)

Anyways, I guess I just told this story because I was always a nobody and never felt I had to show off or say I was better than anybody. I just went out there one day and did what I love to do... and now people respect me for it.

I think you guys should try it this way, if your a Bboy (which if your reading this you obviously are), and you kinda have this teddy bear syndrome, ignore everyone, don't tell anybody and get yourself a circle and dance. If you want bring in a friend and battle him or something, but its what you love to do get out there and do it, people respect ya for it.

I guess its a pointless story, but I thought this is the right place to tell it.

[Fatalz]

How to treat women

[ghirm]

Man, im surprised at how fast this got responded too. But yea, that video on nice guys is creepy, cause i was watching it, and most of it i was like "holy shit, it's an asian version of me!"
i feel like i can relate to him. Im 16, nearly 17, and i think that i have been talking to the wrong girls. I go to a private school, and i feel like the people there are pretty different from me. They all come from different back grounds, and have been goin to private schools their whole life (i went to public till i got there) and i can tell im really different from them. Alot of people told me that girls at my age really don't know what they want. They think that going out with the jerk who doesn't respect you is the best thing they can achieve, but they haven't realized yet that it's better to have a guy that respects you,and like you for who you are and not just whats in your pants.
ive always thought like the latter: ive never given the impression that all i wanna do is get into girls pants. That could be my problem though, cause im not "aggresive" enough, i dont show that i like someone. my sister, told me im one of those guys who girls would go crazy for when they finally grow up, but it doesn't help me if most girls that i like now keep telling me "oh, i don't want to ruin our friendship" which is actually the truth most of the time, but sometimes, it is the most infuriating thing ever. Im really non violent and chill, but when a girl told me that, and i knew she was lying, i lost it, and refused to talk to her (i got mad cause she led me on, and she was supposed to be one of those nice girls) i think i just need to get out there more, join more group stuff with new people, and get away from my school, where the girls are starting to seem as if their not worth it (which could be the reason why im having this problem.)

[ghirm]

Originally Posted by n3wk1d P.S Whats slam poetry????

slam poetry is basically poetry that you write thats meant to be spoken aloud. It can be funny, serious, cool, out there, whatever you want, as long as it's meant to be performed. Its actually really fun, and really similar to hip hop, except no beat, so you can be more creative.
heres a funny one, and a serious one.








Its scary as hell to perform your first time though.