[dbaznxdragon]

Originally Posted by ghirm Man, im surprised at how fast this got responded too. But yea, that video on nice guys is creepy, cause i was watching it, and most of it i was like "holy shit, it's an asian version of me!" i feel like i can relate to him. Im 16, nearly 17, and i think that i have been talking to the wrong girls. I go to a private school, and i feel like the people there are pretty different from me. They all come from different back grounds, and have been goin to private schools their whole life (i went to public till i got there) and i can tell im really different from them. Alot of people told me that girls at my age really don't know what they want. They think that going out with the jerk who doesn't respect you is the best thing they can achieve, but they haven't realized yet that it's better to have a guy that respects you,and like you for who you are and not just whats in your pants. ive always thought like the latter: ive never given the impression that all i wanna do is get into girls pants. That could be my problem though, cause im not "aggresive" enough, i dont show that i like someone. my sister, told me im one of those guys who girls would go crazy for when they finally grow up, but it doesn't help me if most girls that i like now keep telling me "oh, i don't want to ruin our friendship" which is actually the truth most of the time, but sometimes, it is the most infuriating thing ever. Im really non violent and chill, but when a girl told me that, and i knew she was lying, i lost it, and refused to talk to her (i got mad cause she led me on, and she was supposed to be one of those nice girls) i think i just need to get out there more, join more group stuff with new people, and get away from my school, where the girls are starting to seem as if their not worth it (which could be the reason why im having this problem.)

during that time in ur life, don't long and wish you have anyone. be yourself, push yourself out socially and treat everyone the same to an extent. if you like a girl, approach as you want but be confident in yourself and never put up a front. if it goes bad, then remember this, you are ONLY 17. You have about the age of 24 before you start losing a chance to get someone. 24-17 =7 years. Do you remember how long a year actually feels? Well multiply that feeling x7 to remind yourself how much time you have to find a 'strong relationship'. In the meantime tho, jus enjoy your freedom and not strengthen yourseslf socially, emotionally, mentally, physically or however else you please.

trust me, i went through the same shit you did, it's just troublesome

[giovannile07]

uhh I wonder who deleted?

[giovannile07]

Yeah, I just figured out why some girls wouldn't like me and it's because I'm wayyy too nice, so I'm like the exactly same as you... wow...

[bBoY G-RaF]

NOOOOOO snoop a loop why must the old socials problems thread be gone, now we cant go bcak and read about the guy who wanted to date a fat chick and everyone made fun of him for it

anyways, my life is fucked, theres a million problems in my life, financially, socially, an may other words that end in -ially. but dont worry im not suicidal........YET

[snoopy8]

wat? i didnt delete the old social problems thread, giovannile did lol

[giovannile07]

Originally Posted by snoopy8 wat? i didnt delete the old social problems thread, giovannile did lol

he never said you deleted. he said nooooo snoop why MUST the old Social Problems thread be deleted.

[PopTrunk]

Originally Posted by jonnyz I was fortunate, in that I was like you but luckily found a good girl at the age of 13/14, and I've been with her ever since. I didn't need to act like an asshole, I didn't need to buy her expensive gifts or anything. We just dug each other, I enjoyed spending time with her and she enjoyed spending time with me. Before we started going out, we were friends. I was well and truly in the friend zone. Is there even such a thing? Why does it matter whether you're friends with a girl or not? Does that automatically mean you can't be attracted to her as a partner? We were just friends, then we saw that we were into each other and decided to be officially in a relationship. It didn't change us one bit, except that we were now "allowed" to kiss and do all of that stuff. But at the core of our relationship was the fact that we were close friends, and it held us together. That's why our relationship survived while everyone else's would fall apart as quickly as they were slapped together. At the age of 16 I lost my virginity. Me. A society opposing, nerdy, philosophical, confidence-lacking, music-loving, immature fool. I didn't have to pressure her, it just happened. I'm not saying I'm some awesome guy who has to do nothing to get girls, because that just isn't the way it is. All I'm saying is you might just be messing with the wrong people if things aren't working out for you. And why not just be real with a girl, if you like her and think she's cool... Just tell her, hey, I like you. Just remember, life is easy. Every problem in your life is created by you, in your head, and isn't a real problem. Nobody is better than you, but nobody is worse than you. Success and failure are perceptions and aren't absolute.

^^Sig worthy. Rep.

That should be someone's giant sig.

[Avu]

1. Junior year is an absolute bitch and I've never been this consistently stressed over anything in my life. My school has such high expectations of all their students and nobody was prepared for how much work/stress that we were going to be given this year. I've come to the conclusion that junior year on, your academics will suck forevermore.

2. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it. Sure, I know I'm not fugly or whatever- but how come I don't get the attention I want from guys I'm interested in? I'm not a person who'll flirt or hookup with anything that has a pulse- so I guess that's what's getting in my way?

I always have friends asking me why I'm single and why I don't have any guy (or atleast to my knowledge) chasing after me. And truly, I don't know. It makes me feel like shit when people ask me that, too. I know I'm not a bitch and I've definitely toned down my personality since I can't stand it myself. So what, is it me or is it them?

I hate high school and it's too fucking pretentious for me.

3. At this point in time, I don't feel like I have a REAL best friend. I feel lonely and it makes me feel like shit. I honestly think that my weekends are consisted of nothing but wanting to get high and get drunk with a few people in order to forget that I feel this way. It sucks.

4. Dancing. My parents aren't supporting it any longer and it stresses me out. I need an outlet.

5. I don't want to grow up.

Glad I got that off my chest.

[jonnyz]

Originally Posted by Avu 1. Junior year is an absolute bitch and I've never been this consistently stressed over anything in my life. My school has such high expectations of all their students and nobody was prepared for how much work/stress that we were going to be given this year. I've come to the conclusion that junior year on, your academics will suck forevermore. 2. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it. Sure, I know I'm not fugly or whatever- but how come I don't get the attention I want from guys I'm interested in? I'm not a person who'll flirt or hookup with anything that has a pulse- so I guess that's what's getting in my way? I always have friends asking me why I'm single and why I don't have any guy (or atleast to my knowledge) chasing after me. And truly, I don't know. It makes me feel like shit when people ask me that, too. I know I'm not a bitch and I've definitely toned down my personality since I can't stand it myself. So what, is it me or is it them? I hate high school and it's too fucking pretentious for me. 3. At this point in time, I don't feel like I have a REAL best friend. I feel lonely and it makes me feel like shit. I honestly think that my weekends are consisted of nothing but wanting to get high and get drunk with a few people in order to forget that I feel this way. It sucks. 4. Dancing. My parents aren't supporting it any longer and it stresses me out. I need an outlet. 5. I don't want to grow up. Glad I got that off my chest.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, you seem like the exact kind of girl that would be my type, and I know a lot of guys that would be into someone like you.

And if you're stressing out about that stuff, maybe it's time for you to do some soul searching? Pick apart your entire past, your life, yourself, and the world, really see straight through it and ask "why?" It looks to me like you've half started to do that already, which could be why you feel lonely and aren't satisfied with high school.

So don't stop there. Do you feel depressed sometimes? Are you a little down now? If you're gonna do something, do it. Indulge in your depression, hit the lowest low you've ever hit, delve down into your hell and see what the fuck is up.

Stressed out because of school? Parents don't approve of your dancing? Why not be stressed out about your existence in this universe being utterly insignificant, life being meaningless, and the seemingly endless suffering life keeps dishing out to you?

If you go through that, the epitome of despair, you'll be a whole new person. Solving the greatest problem in the entire universe will solve every other problem as well. School, boys, parents, they'll be child's play and won't be able to cause you any grief, unless you feel like letting them for the sake of it.

I mean, you can get by running from dealing with it, but a smart person like you, I'd be willing to bet you'll have to deal with it sometime. And distracting yourself from it will just prolong your suffering, so just approaching it head on is probably the best way. Who knows, though.

[giovannile07]

^ You make me think.... :]]

Well, I'm pretty sure I scared some girls because I remembered their phone numbers not entirely on purpose I get that... But some girl gets pissed at me because I'm shy, sensitive, and nice. She says she feels incapable of doing stuff like when I always try to help out and pick up stuff she drops... I don't know... I always try hard to not messed up, but in the end I do mess things up. All the girls I've ever liked in my school all didn't like me... One girl from this totally different school like in a different county and a grade lower then me she liked me and I liked her. Maybe I should be searching for someone out of my school. I have no idea... I think the shyness really gets me because I start talking to them on AIM way too much and then annoy them, but if I only talked to them in real life that would help so much. I wish I could, but I'm too shy that stuff about taking chances and stuff doesn't help me... I have no idea what to do... I'm just completely screwed up with the system of girls I know and there aren't many that I talk to a lot...

[ghirm]

Originally Posted by Avu 1. Junior year is an absolute bitch and I've never been this consistently stressed over anything in my life. My school has such high expectations of all their students and nobody was prepared for how much work/stress that we were going to be given this year. I've come to the conclusion that junior year on, your academics will suck forevermore. 2. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it. Sure, I know I'm not fugly or whatever- but how come I don't get the attention I want from guys I'm interested in? I'm not a person who'll flirt or hookup with anything that has a pulse- so I guess that's what's getting in my way? I always have friends asking me why I'm single and why I don't have any guy (or atleast to my knowledge) chasing after me. And truly, I don't know. It makes me feel like shit when people ask me that, too. I know I'm not a bitch and I've definitely toned down my personality since I can't stand it myself. So what, is it me or is it them? if someone cant accept you for who you are, then i'd say its them. I hate high school and it's too fucking pretentious for me. 3. At this point in time, I don't feel like I have a REAL best friend. I feel lonely and it makes me feel like shit. I honestly think that my weekends are consisted of nothing but wanting to get high and get drunk with a few people in order to forget that I feel this way. It sucks. 4. Dancing. My parents aren't supporting it any longer and it stresses me out. I need an outlet. 5. I don't want to grow up. Glad I got that off my chest.

This for #2
you know whats funny about that? let me give you that situation, but from a guys perspective:
guys are horny. thats it. our hormones are like miniature demons that posses us and makes us dumb (not all guys of course). And those flirty girls that get all the attention: they may get attention, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're getting respect. If a guy had a choice between the flirty, easy girl and someone like you, they may pick the easy one, but they'd never respect them as much as someone like you. and even if they did, would you REALLY want to go out with a horndog that has nothing below his surface?

This for #3
maybe you should just talk, get with people who share similar problems with you. not quite sure how'd you go about doing that, but i have some experience with that: you gotta be in an enviroment where your comfortable enough to tell people the truth, kinda like a group activity. then you gotta do something really hard: you gotta admit your feelings, and i think you'd be surprised at who responds to it. (i know i was when i did something like that).


you know, just getting stuff out helps. what are you good at? for me, ive been doing music since like 3rd grade, so if im sad or pissed, i just jam on the bass or something. I also realized that im pretty eloquent with my words, which is why i started slam poetry (was perfect, cause in poetry, you can just let it all out, cause thats what its for: to express yourself) i also cook too, or i might just work out, and even now i dance.

Obviously your not the same as me, but im sure you have talents that your either aware or unaware of, and you can just try to express yourself through it.
if you can sing, sing
if you can dance (which seems like you can) then dance
if your a crazy sports freak, tackling people always makes me feel better
hell, you can even pick up boxing, or working out or mixed martial arts (though that might make you scary when your mad)

anyway, sorry if this was to preachy or something, just wanted to help you out.
and if you need someone to talk to, im willing to talk to you cause i feel like we have a couple of issues in common.

peace

[ghirm]

Originally Posted by giovannile07 ^ You make me think.... :]] Well, I'm pretty sure I scared some girls because I remembered their phone numbers not entirely on purpose I get that... But some girl gets pissed at me because I'm shy, sensitive, and nice. She says she feels incapable of doing stuff like when I always try to help out and pick up stuff she drops... I don't know... I always try hard to not messed up, but in the end I do mess things up. All the girls I've ever liked in my school all didn't like me... One girl from this totally different school like in a different county and a grade lower then me she liked me and I liked her. Maybe I should be searching for someone out of my school. I have no idea... I think the shyness really gets me because I start talking to them on AIM way too much and then annoy them, but if I only talked to them in real life that would help so much. I wish I could, but I'm too shy that stuff about taking chances and stuff doesn't help me... I have no idea what to do... I'm just completely screwed up with the system of girls I know and there aren't many that I talk to a lot...

lol, you sound like a lot of guys that i know (including me sometimes)
i can't help you with the shy thing, cause i'd probaly end up saying the same thing as everyone else, and you said that it doesn't help. Its one of those things you have to figure out yourself.

i used to always be polite and gentlemenly like that (thats how i was raised, to give respect to everyone) but i learned something interesting: you can be gentlemenly, but theres such thing as being to gentlymenly (god, thats not even a word). I hate to say this, but i realized that the more you do stuff like that, the more some girls lose respect for you. its not on purpose, its just one of those things that they can't control, kinda like how you lose respect for a person that you found out was a really dirty slut (though thats a completely different extreme).

so don't neccesarily stop being who you are cause of what people say, like being less gentlemenly, unless you change yourseld (if that makes sense)
you could just be meeting the wrong kinds of girls too. that seems to be people like you, me and most of the people here: there those rare people who don't get along with everyone else cause they're kinda different.

your pretty young, and to tell you the truth, i thought everyone around me (including myself) were a bunch of idiots around that age (and we were)
wait till people start growing, you'll see the difference.

hope this helped.
peace

[Avu]

Originally Posted by jonnyz Well, if it makes you feel any better, you seem like the exact kind of girl that would be my type, and I know a lot of guys that would be into someone like you. And if you're stressing out about that stuff, maybe it's time for you to do some soul searching? Pick apart your entire past, your life, yourself, and the world, really see straight through it and ask "why?" It looks to me like you've half started to do that already, which could be why you feel lonely and aren't satisfied with high school. So don't stop there. Do you feel depressed sometimes? Are you a little down now? If you're gonna do something, do it. Indulge in your depression, hit the lowest low you've ever hit, delve down into your hell and see what the fuck is up. Stressed out because of school? Parents don't approve of your dancing? Why not be stressed out about your existence in this universe being utterly insignificant, life being meaningless, and the seemingly endless suffering life keeps dishing out to you? If you go through that, the epitome of despair, you'll be a whole new person. Solving the greatest problem in the entire universe will solve every other problem as well. School, boys, parents, they'll be child's play and won't be able to cause you any grief, unless you feel like letting them for the sake of it. I mean, you can get by running from dealing with it, but a smart person like you, I'd be willing to bet you'll have to deal with it sometime. And distracting yourself from it will just prolong your suffering, so just approaching it head on is probably the best way. Who knows, though.

Thanks.
And I just checked out your site. Kudos.

Originally Posted by ghirm you know, just getting stuff out helps. what are you good at? for me, ive been doing music since like 3rd grade, so if im sad or pissed, i just jam on the bass or something. I also realized that im pretty eloquent with my words, which is why i started slam poetry (was perfect, cause in poetry, you can just let it all out, cause thats what its for: to express yourself) i also cook too, or i might just work out, and even now i dance. Obviously your not the same as me, but im sure you have talents that your either aware or unaware of, and you can just try to express yourself through it. if you can sing, sing if you can dance (which seems like you can) then dance if your a crazy sports freak, tackling people always makes me feel better hell, you can even pick up boxing, or working out or mixed martial arts (though that might make you scary when your mad) anyway, sorry if this was to preachy or something, just wanted to help you out. and if you need someone to talk to, im willing to talk to you cause i feel like we have a couple of issues in common. peace

Yeah, I used to be a varsity cross-country runner at my high school until injury. And I just stopped going to track all together lately since I've been too stressed out.
I used to the hit the gym hard (2 hours) almost everyday until winter track, which I don't go to anymore.
I'm learning to bgirl.
I'm a singer and I write and perform every now and then.
I would dance now, but I don't know why my parents don't want me to any more.

I'm kind of like a jack of all trades, but with age comes responsibility and it's kind of overwhelming.

And yeah. You can pm your aim/msn add if you want.

Giovanille07:
About your girl prob: I've learned that I always get off better with people outside of my school. People are too concerned with such fake shit. And outside of school you don't really have to worry about that stuff.

[thebboybounce]

Originally Posted by jonnyz Teddy Bear Syndrome is all in your head. You must just not be dealing with the right girls. Are you a young teenager? The majority of girls around that age are more suited to the "pushy" sort of approach by males rather than the "nice" approach. You actually sound a lot like me, so I'll tell you my story. I was fortunate, in that I was like you but luckily found a good girl at the age of 13/14, and I've been with her ever since. I didn't need to act like an asshole, I didn't need to buy her expensive gifts or anything. We just dug each other, I enjoyed spending time with her and she enjoyed spending time with me. Before we started going out, we were friends. I was well and truly in the friend zone. Is there even such a thing? Why does it matter whether you're friends with a girl or not? Does that automatically mean you can't be attracted to her as a partner? We were just friends, then we saw that we were into each other and decided to be officially in a relationship. It didn't change us one bit, except that we were now "allowed" to kiss and do all of that stuff. But at the core of our relationship was the fact that we were close friends, and it held us together. That's why our relationship survived while everyone else's would fall apart as quickly as they were slapped together. At the age of 16 I lost my virginity. Me. A society opposing, nerdy, philosophical, confidence-lacking, music-loving, immature fool. I didn't have to pressure her, it just happened. I'm not saying I'm some awesome guy who has to do nothing to get girls, because that just isn't the way it is. All I'm saying is you might just be messing with the wrong people if things aren't working out for you. And why not just be real with a girl, if you like her and think she's cool... Just tell her, hey, I like you. Just remember, life is easy. Every problem in your life is created by you, in your head, and isn't a real problem. Nobody is better than you, but nobody is worse than you. Success and failure are perceptions and aren't absolute.

word to that brother...we should be WAAAAY more grateful bout our lives. ALL of it. and word to everything you said bout the relationship thing. that totally applies here...

[giovannile07]

Originally Posted by ghirm lol, you sound like a lot of guys that i know (including me sometimes) i can't help you with the shy thing, cause i'd probaly end up saying the same thing as everyone else, and you said that it doesn't help. Its one of those things you have to figure out yourself. i used to always be polite and gentlemenly like that (thats how i was raised, to give respect to everyone) but i learned something interesting: you can be gentlemenly, but theres such thing as being to gentlymenly (god, thats not even a word). I hate to say this, but i realized that the more you do stuff like that, the more some girls lose respect for you. its not on purpose, its just one of those things that they can't control, kinda like how you lose respect for a person that you found out was a really dirty slut (though thats a completely different extreme). so don't neccesarily stop being who you are cause of what people say, like being less gentlemenly, unless you change yourseld (if that makes sense) you could just be meeting the wrong kinds of girls too. that seems to be people like you, me and most of the people here: there those rare people who don't get along with everyone else cause they're kinda different. your pretty young, and to tell you the truth, i thought everyone around me (including myself) were a bunch of idiots around that age (and we were) wait till people start growing, you'll see the difference. hope this helped. peace

Thanks man... I appreciate, especially from someone who has some similar problems, I've never found anyone like me. I know people that say their sensitive and they can relate, but I don't see that at all. Avu I guess I'd probably be able to connect to people out of school all the guys I know I never really show any of them how I feel because they're different even my best friends aren't like me at all, but we still get along. Still it would be nice to meet someone that has same problems like me.

Like I'm shy with a bunch of girls, but for some reason when I'm alone with one girl it's so much easier to talk to that one girl then a bunch of girls together or even guys along too. Like honestly if I talked to a girl alone I could talk easier, especially because all the girls I know hang out from different groups. I want to talk to this one girl I know, but she's way too shy. I've asked her to hang out, but she keeps rejecting it because she says it feels awkward hanging out with someone she met online even though I see her almost everyday at school and say hi to her. She won't even talk to me on the phone, but she's pretty shy with a lot of guys compared to girls. She's awesome though.

Yeah, I won't change I'll just not help her unless she asks me to help out or someone asks me to help out. I think that any less then who you are is not you. So.... yeah. I guess I developed a bit more to be gentlemen like because I never teased like any girls when I was young like 6 or 7 or played that cooties game or anything like that. I just think I'm a bit more mature... some girls say I talk all philosophical.

Well, my friend also taught me how to talk to them because I ask a lot of questions I'm being honest I ask tons of questions when like I first meet you on AIM that is... Like I'll know almost a lot about you in one single day then later on I'll just keep asking questions one after another until I run out... Then soon on I won't have anything to say. I don't know I think that's one problem. I really just want to know someone in real life that understands me...

I mess up so much with girls I like I start out from this pretty cool kid to talk to into this obnoxious kid. Only with girls on AIM though. I can hardly speak to a girl in real life unless I'm alone with her I guess, but that would make her feel awkward wouldn't it, but I'm not sure because I've only tried that like once or twice. I'll say more later I can't really think right now...