JOKES!!!!! Good ones please ^_^ -
08-30-2003, 02:04 AM
alright I got a couple.....
A wife wakes up one morning and finds that her husband is not in bed beside her.... So she goes downstairs to see what's up... she finds him crying at the kitchen table... she asks what's wrong... the husband replies "Today is our 20th Anniversary"... The wife says "Yes I know, I'm a little emotional about it too." He says "no you don't understand..." he sobs.. "remember when your dad found out you were pregnant and held a shotgun to my face and said "either you marry my daughter or go to jail for 20 years?"... She answers "Yes, I remember that"...
He says "I would have gotten out today..."
Okay a husband walks in on his wife cheating on him and says "What the hell are you doing!?!?" The women just answers "See, I told you he was stupid..."
A guy walks into a bar and yells "ALRIGHT!!! WHO'S THE TOUGHEST GUY IN HERE?" A big buff man steps up and says "I am, what the hell do you want?"
The man answers "Excellent, could you help me push my car to the next gas station?"
Why did god invent men?
Cuz cucumbers can't do dishes...
k don't read this next joke unless you got a sick ass sense of humor.... seriously it's probably only funny to me...
What kind of file makes a whole this big -> o become this big -> O
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, Who needs a girlfriend?"
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
In all the world there is but one beer beholding of the title, THE KING OF BEERS. It is a statement of leadership and unsurpassed quality that belongs to America's premier lager beer. In all its crowning glory, America, This Bud's for you.
10,000 men died due to a plague and went to the pearly gates where they lined up. God came down and said to the men.
"All you men will seperate yourselves, those who dominated in their households above their women stand in one line and if not stand in the other, i will return when you are done"
God returns a few hours later and finds 9,999 men in the line where they were not dominate and 1 Well built man in the Dominate side.
God scolds the men "You should be ashamed of yourselves i formed women from your rib, how dare you throw away your pride and bow to your women!"
he then turns to the one man and says "I will grant you entrance to heaven if you give me a true reason why you were dominate over your woman"
The guy looks at God shrugs and claims "I'm sorry but my wife just told me to stand here."
10,000 men died due to a plague and went to the pearly gates where they lined up. God came down and said to the men.
"All you men will seperate yourselves, those who dominated in their households above their women stand in one line and if not stand in the other, i will return when you are done"
God returns a few hours later and finds 9,999 men in the line where they were not dominate and 1 Well built man in the Dominate side.
God scolds the men "You should be ashamed of yourselves i formed women from your rib, how dare you throw away your pride and bow to your women!"
he then turns to the one man and says "I will grant you entrance to heaven if you give me a true reason why you were dominate over your woman"
The guy looks at God shrugs and claims "I'm sorry but my wife just told me to stand here."
JOKES!!!!! Good ones please ^_^
Linear Mode
