[RingerINC]

Because the gayer the name, the less gay the people within it.

Ok so the aim of this thread is for people to post daily works of thier own with a specific goal in mind. The idea would be to make your first post here a description of your aim or goal or whatever, this would include how many bars you want to write each day (or each few days if you so desire), what you are looking to imrpove, what direction you are trying to take your rhyming or how you want to diversify it. Anyone can post in this thread after posting thier goals and people can (and should) give comments, compliments or criticisms on others works. Please try to at least read one other persons verse and comment on it before posting one of your own. Hopefully this system will help everyone get the results they desire.

Edit: Also, to keep other threads going alongside this one, you can post verses from other threads that you think you executed well or would like criticism on, especially so if they relate to the way in which you are trying to improve (like dtpg if you want to get better at battling etc.) also unfinished work is cool as well.



Ok so my goal here is to diversify my rhymes into specific characters or personas. I've semi-decided upon specific personas and what i want to get out of them, the two i've most developed to date are Bleach and RingerINC, the idea i had for bleach was basically the standard emcee i aim to be, so good use of multis and eccentric metaphors with a semi-aggressive approach, RingerINC however is more of a storyteller, so far those are the styles i feel the most comfortable with. I hope to create one that is more on the multi-technical appraoch and possibly less literal with ideas and concepts, another that is more aggressive and another that is more sinister. So basically each verse i post i will try to focus on one of these aspects and less of a mix of all of them which is what i tend to do, probably less on the storyteller and metaphor style. Hopefully some of the lines i come up with here will be used in some audio stuff. I'm gonna try to do 4 bars each day for now but that may change depending on how much time i have.

I'll kick shit off tomorrow with my first verse here. And please if you're looking to elevate, participate

[RingerINC]

Actually fuckit, I'll start now. The idea i had here was more of the multi driven character but i fell into somewhere between that and the aggressive persona.

I am motherfucking fire, wrapped in a desired attire/
Choking your sire with a wire from my cynical spire/
And you retire, while I score when i ain't even trying/
And the fact remains im still fucking harder than Ninja Gaiden/
So if you implyin, that you west-sidin and ridin dirty/
I'll pimp-slap two eye-holes in ya forehead and leave you lookin nerdy/

Wrote that whilst driving and disrupting traffic.

[Tuddles]

so i guess i write my goals Oo ahaha
im trying to improve lyrically, and get more multis n metaphors n similes going in my rhymes.
trying to expand my vocab aswell, n get my mind to think quickly
ill do atleast 6 bars a day or so, if i remember ahahah
aight


ahahah ringer man your beast
that ninja gaiden line was pretty dope
not really much bad about anything you've done recently
id like to see more of the storytelling side though rather than
bleach feel me? ahahah

[FFWB]

Haha Ringer you crack my shit up.. I mean Bleach... I mean.... yeah.

Goals - I want to be able to be versatile with my rhymes and pretty much have the standard.. good multi's, wordplay, inners, etc etc. So I will do the persona thing Emcee Jmac is more of the personal aspect of me, like feelings. Like an emotional/serious type. 2Basic is the self-centered, I'm the best rapper alive, version. Jmac will be the one doing the chill stuff and 2Basic will be the one doing all of the hyped up head banging, club mix, whatever the fuck you want to say shit... I would like to do about a page a day of rhyming and freestyle to at least a whole song if not two... thanks SpellBound for the idea

FIRST 5 BARS

2Basic Sty-all
Yo I'm molten on the mic, no firefighters puttin' me out/
Lyrics boltin' from the hype, hot magma put in these shouts//
Im the new white hope motherfucker, and ya best see it/
In alla this dark I'm light, and you'll find, ya best agree kid//
Ya don't know but I'll wreck a stage, like I hijacked the airwaves/
My skills are to high to check a gauge, need elevators not stairways//
Can't climb this mountain, without a fucking dynamite disposition/
Words spew, I'm a fountain, my wordplay is ripe with recognition//
Yessir I'm fuckin' full of myself, but don't judge me bitch/
This world needs me, it's a drought, I'm an irrigation ditch//

2's. Holla.

[SpellBound]

Well, I won't post my verses up cuz I actually write them down instead of typing, and I don't feel like typing them up. Nothin personal, I'm just a lazy piece of shit ; )

My goal is to write a notebook page (32 lines) everyday, till at least the end of August. Mainly looking to improve my the wording of my lyrics, but it's mainly to develop my own personal style. Also I'll be freestyling everyday, in the hope that I'll improve my flow and delivery.

[VicValSwift]

^LOL. I write my verses too, and sometimes I've been reluctant to post 'em up on the feedback thread, but I did anyways haha. I'll maybe post a new verse tonight but for now I'll state my goals.

My goal is to write at least a standard verse a day (16 bars/lines) 'til.. whenever haha. I'm still in the early stages of actually rhymin' (though I've been freestylin' for a while...), so I want to do the "usual" if you will--getting better technically, rhyme schemes and flow, develop my own style and voice, find my preference of delivery, improve on overall topic and content, and be able to write some ill ass metaphors and similies. I also want to freestyle more often though I feel like it's up to my own standards moreso than my actual writing is haha.

[Khaled]

Originally Posted by VicValSwift

^LOL. I write my verses too, and sometimes I've been reluctant to post 'em up on the feedback thread, but I did anyways haha. I'll maybe post a new verse tonight but for now I'll state my goals.

My goal is to write at least a standard verse a day (16 bars/lines) 'til.. whenever haha. I'm still in the early stages of actually rhymin' (though I've been freestylin' for a while...), so I want to do the "usual" if you will--getting better technically, rhyme schemes and flow, develop my own style and voice, find my preference of delivery, improve on overall topic and content, and be able to write some ill ass metaphors and similies. I also want to freestyle more often though I feel like it's up to my own standards moreso than my actual writing is haha.

guess I cant critique or give any feedback since you haven't posted ya rhymes haha its chill tho if you do ill make sure to read it.

anyways, my goal is to flow better, get involved with more of the real hip hop people meaning real MC's, real DJ's, real Bboys, and get alot of connections so that i can like have a lot of ways and oppurtinities and tips and shit. Now i wanna write two 8 bar verses a day for as long as I can. I want to get better at flowing by alot, I want to understand Inners cuz im mixing them up with multis and am not able to incorperate them when i want to... I wanna get better at audio so Im gonna be dropping one audio verse at least every 2 weeks. I want to get involved so this is my one oppurtunity and success is my only option, failures not.

[Mode]

Originally Posted by Khaled

so this is my one oppurtunity and success is my only option, failures not.

lol whats up b-rabbit..


ok my goal.. i feel as though i've fallen off pretty bad in the sense of the topical/story tellin tip, and when i do write it's always on some melancholy type shit.. so i wanna improve my creative writing skills in that area.. wouldn't mind gettin back on the battle wagon either.. also i wanna record more and get better quality but that's kinda out of my hands until work gives me a break.. i'd like to have a mixtape with at least 10 tracks that sound stereo friendly by the end of the year.. anyone got tips for soundproofing rooms 'n shit to get better sound/reduce reverb??

[SpellBound]

^ I've got a tip, but it's more of something not to do when soundproofing. Don't use the styrofoam egg packages or drink holders to sound proof because they do absolutely nothing. Other than that I don't have any tips, but I'm lookin for advice on the same thing lol

Also, I am going to play the guitar everyday for at least 15 minutes. My goals are to play for at least an hour straight without my fingers hurting, and to be able to play a few songs as well as play something original that sounds good

[VicValSwift]

^You know, I've always wanted to switch my styles up and add a guitar in with my rhymin' (Dope emcees that do that which come to mind are K-OS, Shad, and Wax LOL), but I need the money for an acoustic and I'm not sure if I have the time to add in with everything else (breakin', rhymin'). Do your thing though Spell.

Here's my daily 16 haha:

Sometimes people lie to give way for when the truth is formed
Maybe the religious will get it if i'm in cruciform
My attempt is in vain to capture the zeitgeist
Pardon me but I didn't mean to excite Christ
I'm only trying to warm up a life iced
By frostbites and to get at least a slight slice
Of the pie, but it's hot and it's scorchin' my tongue
Straight fire I got but it's torchin' my lungs
I need to continue this rhymin' in excess
To flex stress 'cause i wear my thoughts like a headdress
It's a dead guess why I'm so disheveled and fallible
And an ego of this level is palpable
'Cause it leaves all my concepts mangled in context
And it has all my words angled in contest
To the foundation I built, in this nation of guilt
We need to rise up into a formation of stilts

[FFWB]

Originally Posted by Mode

lol whats up b-rabbit..


ok my goal.. i feel as though i've fallen off pretty bad in the sense of the topical/story tellin tip, and when i do write it's always on some melancholy type shit.. so i wanna improve my creative writing skills in that area.. wouldn't mind gettin back on the battle wagon either.. also i wanna record more and get better quality but that's kinda out of my hands until work gives me a break.. i'd like to have a mixtape with at least 10 tracks that sound stereo friendly by the end of the year.. anyone got tips for soundproofing rooms 'n shit to get better sound/reduce reverb??

Holy balls... Mode is gettin' on it. That mixtape thing sounds dope as hell and good luck with work mate. Holla!

[Tuddles]

speculation, preventin the elevation, of the greatest weapon
brainwavin, preppin the second thought preversion
the plot thickens

spittin striclty for stickin up for my one dearly
hear me out, the prescribed eyesights, lies are so nearly
noted the dopest, unquoted, emcee
to take words from the darkest
innersactum god spat on me
solidifyin, the connection between
acceptance n chagrin
ridin through ups n downs
like some themepark attraction
takin action spread my thought throughout em
tension mounted among a fraction of my faction.
rock em.

ehh my daily spaat... erm nightly.. whatevs

[Elbee]

Guess I'm up next. Well, my goal is just to elevate my skills, lyrically and especially on the audio tip because I know the only thing holding me back is my delivery on audios. Truth be known, my peers always think I'm into this rap shit for the fame but the fact of the matter is, I've been in love with poetry ever since I was a young kid but I digress.. haha. I wanna be a recording MC if possible but I know that's a little far fetched for now especially because of the local music scene but that doesnt mean I should just give up. If I dont get to achieve my dream as an established MC I would still not stop writing and aiming to elevate to the best that I can be. Damn, thats a long post. And yeah, I will try to squeeze a couple of bars everyday into my hectic schedule.

Embody mastery on the battlefield, Achilles the fleet footed man killer
dispense fillers that break hearts like that kid ben stiller
the purpose I'm rhymin, let y'all inspect the verses I'm reciting
from every facet, and find me flawless, like the surface of a diamond
verbal flamethrower, searing heat no doubt cremating them biters
an insane flow-er, got so many heads rollin' like I beheaded the hydra
No one is as fly as this yet still fakers try to diss
so sweet is my flow, if y'all had a taste y'all be suffering from diabetes

[Mode]

ok first story track in a long ass time... it's pretty long.. it's called "end of days" wrote it all in one sitting.. ends a bit abruptly though, i ran out of steam..

it's a picture of torment, a storm is formin,
end of day's, hades spawned the four horsemen,
conquest, war.. death 'n pestilence,
bring forth darkness, end the testaments,
they open the skies in a reign of fire,
death to all who dare to face the riders,
righteous crusaders they fight to delay them,
try as they may their might will betray them,
in the midst of battle, scimters flashin,
distant clashes tell of the crimson splashes,
staining the mane the wars great horse 'n,
deaths set to follow 'n enslave the corpses,
as the thunder screams, the tundra heaves,
under seige all but one of gods son's deceased,
alone on the battlefield, standing defiant,
sword in one hand, it's man against tyrant,
the clamourings silenced, pestilence rides,
deft when he slice, moves left for the strike,
the crusader is tested, he steps to the right,
parry's 'n cleaves through his neck with a knife,
conquest is awed 'n is quick to the counter,
goes forth to the fray to get hit 'n dismounted,
it's no win, he pauses, pull's on his bow string,
looses a shaft that hits with a low ring,
scopes in, againt he takes aim at his enemy,
only he's faced with the rage of a menacing,
crusader, poised with the blade of excaliber,
raised 'n he cleaves up his frame with a callous cut,
full of malice as he saddles up, the hero charges,
towards war full of force as he zero's target,
launched from his mount he connects the rider,
around them the world seems to set on fire,
swords clash, the impact it levels mountains,
the fury 'n rage is intense around 'em,
both bleeding profusely, but neithers faded,
they circle eachother, their breathin laboured,
war moves to kill, certain he's hurt his enemy,
the crusader he bursts with a surge of energy,
swerves in readily, he ducks a savage blow,
turns 'n steady he rushed 'n stabbed his throat,
the crusader falls as the blood of wars spilt,
clutching his chest to touch the sword hilt,
tired he rests, eyes red 'n vacant,
looks up to see hell as deaths set to take him,
but he pauses, the crusader taunts him with laughter,
tortured 'n martyred, his eyes haunted 'n scarlet,
he pulls forth the blade 'n he lashes out,
his blood splashes as deaths crown crashes down,
in agony he cries, light shifts 'n is darker,
cursing his fate gifted from the sins of the father...

[istolicee]

do my goals have to be music related??

edit::
nevermind, i just read ringer's OP...

my goal: to find my inspiration and/or motivation again... to just start writing again, period. post up maybe one a month... to fit writing in throughout my busy ass daily/weekly routine... also to record ONE audio by the end of the year.