[BBoYsPeeDsTeP]

Originally Posted by bboyC4 hey, im thinking bout getting into "battle rapping" or whatever you wanna call, so heres me little go (i guess you'd have to imagine my opponent, im basing it on some fag at school i hate) flecks of spit is all the impression u leave on a mic/ i spit the venom of a rattle snake battle bite/ you dont battle right, you battle like a kitten/ i know im winning that why im looking so smitten/ your so chicken, couldnt rap if your rhymes were pre-written/ in ur pants i see ya shittin, ive given u a real scare/ ur hair looks like uve got donated semen caught in there/ i hope i dont send u home nowcause you cant afford the bus fare/ now ill leave you bleeding on the battle floor, ya cant battle more/ but i battle like a god damn matadoor/ hmm, ive done better

Aight,well
1st bar:I like opener,"mic" and "bite" go pretty well
2nd bar:A contradicition in yo 1st line which makes and the lack of punctuation
makes it confusing and being smitten ain't good
3rd bar:Good punch in the 1st line but it don't rhyme with the 2nd line...
4th bar:1st line gets wordy and second makes no sense and the syllable count could be betta
5th bar:"but" didn't link the 2 lines very well and the syllable count is wayyyyy off..also battling like a matador is bad cuz a matador evades the bull and runs around..soo closer not that good

here's my verse:

Another sleepless night,it's the third in a row
Insomnia chases me like a curse but my flow
Is as smooth as falling dominos in a row,Yo
I think this life is killing me painful and slow
I've never done this for no hoe,all I sing for is my soul
I play another deep track soothing my tired soul
The music allows me to break down the wall
It drives me to write lines that keep my mind whole
Now my reflection in the window altercates my fall
realising I am hallucinating again I wake up
Look in the window hoping to make up
With my reflection which I interpret is my ghost
remain disappointed cuz I just can't boast
Now I go to the kitchen,make me some toast
Realising It's what I've been doing the most
Again I start wondering "is my body just a host?"
If so my heart's west,my brain be eastcoast
Quarrelling is what drove me to leave my post
And start to wonder whether I haven't lost
Maybe I'm no more fire,am I now roast?
I lost myself in music and I can't find the way back
And that's the exact reason I'm writing this track
I'm sick of exposing people who lack,it's wack
emCee's couldn't harm me but I gave me a deadly hack
I was suiciding without even realising it was me I attacked
Ignoring what I felt I disregarded my soul,thought I was intact
But it all pays off now,I can bet you feelin me getting off tact
It may sound stupid but It's a motherfucking fact
I lost in the end because I turned my back
on what I beleived,since that day I stacked
Till I finally realized that I had gotten smacked
And now Ima attempt to regain what got jacked
And become one with myself,Only I got the keys
To reopen my mind and restore my body-mind peace

[Transcendent]

Originally Posted by BBoYsPeeDsTeP here's my verse: Another sleepless night,it's the third in a row Insomnia chases me like a curse but my flow Is as smooth as falling dominos in a row,Yo I think this life is killing me painful and slow The line about your flow is filler, and there's a lot of better words you could use to signify something chasing you besides a curse. I've never done this for no hoe,all I sing for is my soul I play another deep track soothing my tired soul If you're gonna rhyme soul with soul, make sure there is another syllable (preferably 2) that rhyme before it. The music allows me to break down the wall It drives me to write lines that keep my mind whole Now my reflection in the window altercates my fall The middle line doesn't need to be there because it fucks up the rhyme scheme. Also, I think you misused altercate. realising I am hallucinating again I wake up Look in the window hoping to make up With my reflection which I interpret is my ghost remain disappointed cuz I just can't boast How are you hallucinating? If you meant to portray yourself literally falling (be it in a hallucination or not), you should've elaborated with more than a single line. So you want to make up with the ghost of yourself, which is your reflection? If a ghost is a spirit, what part of you is conversing with your ghost? Now I go to the kitchen,make me some toast Realising It's what I've been doing the most You make it sound like making toast is your most common activity. You probably just threw the toast line in there to keep up the rhyme scheme, something you shouldn't make a habit of. Again I start wondering "is my body just a host?" If so my heart's west, my brain be east coast If your body is a host for the ghost (which I'm going to assume from here on out is your spirit), how does that relate to the distance between your heart and brain? Quarrelling is what drove me to leave my post And start to wonder whether I haven't lost Despite it's spelling, lost and post don't rhyme. And quarrelling with who? Yourself? Maybe I'm no more fire,am I now roast? I lost myself in music and I can't find the way back And that's the exact reason I'm writing this track I'm sick of exposing people who lack,it's wack emCee's couldn't harm me but I gave me a deadly hack Am I now roast? What the fuck does that mean? Don't use nonsensical grammar. People who lack what? Gave me a deadly hack sounds stupid. You are just throwing inners in there to rhyme and trying to rhyme shit that doesn't make much sense. I was suiciding without even realising it was me I attacked Ignoring what I felt I disregarded my soul,thought I was intact But it all pays off now,I can bet you feelin me getting off tact It may sound stupid but It's a motherfucking fact Suiciding isn't a word. Get off tact doesn't make sense. I lost in the end because I turned my back on what I beleived,since that day I stacked Lost to what? Stacked what? Till I finally realized that I had gotten smacked And now Ima attempt to regain what got jacked How the fuck does this relate at all? Honestly. And become one with myself,Only I got the keys To reopen my mind and restore my body-mind peace Awkwardly worded at the end, but I liked what you were attempting.

You really need to focus on coherency. Make sense and know exactly what you want to say and get across to listeners. Keeping a rhyme scheme going (especially a simple one) isn't worth it if you aren't making sense. Rapping is more than putting words that rhyme at the end of a line. Another thing, your syllable count is pretty long, albeit consistent. Shave it down to around 14 syllables on average, because that's the usual for audios.


Here's a verse I wrote to Necro's Keep On Driving instrumental. 1 of 3 verses.



My car breaks down on the road less travelled on/
As I get away from our hopeless Babylon./
Same thing every day, just playing tagalong./
Stuck in the cycle, I’d rather be a vagabond./
Wandering aimlessly and pondering things we see./
Looking for someone the same as me/
Cuz if I trek far enough…/
But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m alone?
What if as far as I go on the road I am the only one/
Under the sun without an abode./
Without a place to call my own/
Without a place that I call home/
Who hasn’t placed their faith and simply chooses to roam/
Who looks for answers but gets questions/
Lives and breathes for self-expression/
Who has the need to die mentioned/
Someone whose not two-dimension./
Damn, need to get back to travelling./
Cuz I got a feeling in the pit of my abdomen./
If I don’t find that person now then I know…/

[BBoYsPeeDsTeP]

aight well it seems you misunderstood my idea,i think,my idea is that my soul is my heart and my brain does not have my soul in it ya dig?

Quarrelling is what drove me to leave my post
And start to wonder whether I haven't lost
I mean a quarell inside me (between the brain n heart)


Maybe I'm no more fire,am I now roast?
I lost myself in music and I can't find the way back
And that's the exact reason I'm writing this track
I'm sick of exposing people who lack,it's wack
emCee's couldn't harm me but I gave me a deadly hack

Am I now roast? What the fuck does that mean? Don't use nonsensical grammar. People who lack what? Gave me a deadly hack sounds stupid. You are just throwing inners in there to rhyme and trying to rhyme shit that doesn't make much sense.

when ya dope ya spit fire right?When ya a target of that fire ya get burnt right?so thats the idea,have I become a target...people who lack skills,and gave me a deadly hac means I wounded myself...don't see why it sounds stupid


I was suiciding without even realising it was me I attacked
Ignoring what I felt I disregarded my soul,thought I was intact
But it all pays off now,I can bet you feelin me getting off tact
It may sound stupid but It's a motherfucking fact

Suiciding isn't a word. Get off tact doesn't make sense.you're right about suiciding had no idea the wasnt such a word and the getting off tact thing is supposed to sound different than the other part of the verse in audio

well I hope that clears out some things appreciate the feed

[_-=FiRe=-_]

Originally Posted by Transcendent My car breaks down on the road less travelled on/ As I get away from our hopeless Babylon./ I'm having trouble getting what you mean by "hopeless Babylon". To my understanding, Babylon literally means a city in Mesopotamia and and also refers to paradise or a gateway to the heavens. I don't see how Babylon could be hopeless unless you're criticizing the process of getting into Heaven (or it's very existence). And if you are, this is a really round about way to explain that concept and will go over the heads of most. if not all. listeners unless they have a lyric sheet in front of them Same thing every day, just playing tagalong./ Stuck in the cycle, I’d rather be a vagabond./ Your tone here is inconsistent. In the first line, you say you're playing tag-along, which is a colloquial, if not slang, phrase and in the second line you're adopting more of a formal tone using a relatively sophisticated word like "vagabond". Try to keep your tone consistent throughout your verse or else it'll detract from the potency of the piece. Wandering aimlessly and pondering things we see./ Looking for someone the same as me/ I think you should change "we" to "I" because otherwise it becomes vague as to who you're referring to (society or yourself). I also don't like the use of the word "pondering" in context, it seems to stick out IMO. Maybe "ruminating on the things I see" would work better. Otherwise, simple line, but it gets the job done effectively Cuz if I trek far enough…/ But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m alone? What if as far as I go on the road I am the only one/ Under the sun without an abode./ I like how you leave the listener to think about the ending of the first line, sort of like a mini-cliffhanger. Second line plays nicely into it too. Third line is worded VERY awkwardly. Fourth line works except I don't like the use of the word "abode". It's sort of like using the word "domicile", completely correct, but it's just so obscure that nobody would use it while speaking. That's not really a good reason so if you like it as is, I have no problems with that. Without a place to call my own/ Without a place that I call home/ The purposeful repetition works well here. Who hasn’t placed their faith and simply chooses to roam/ Who looks for answers but gets questions/ Lives and breathes for self-expression/ Who has the need to die mentioned/ The ABBB rhyme scheme here fucks things up. I was fine with the ABCB before, but this just sounds awkward. First line isn't particularly strong, but it gets the point across. I'd suggest adding a conjunction between the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th lines because the three ideas aren't connected in of themselves, and it would be better for coherency if there was something like "and" connecting the ideas. Someone whose not two-dimension./ "two-dimension"=fail. Can't use imaginary words if they sound awkward like that = Damn, need to get back to traveling./ Weak line, the gap between your car breaking down and this line is too large. I completely forget about you traveling in the first place by the time you got to this line. Seems abrupt. Either mention traveling or a desire to continue to travel more in the verse or drop this line. Cuz I got a feeling in the pit of my abdomen./ Meh I don't like it, but it's more or less fine If I don’t find that person now then I know…/ Same concept as the "traveling" line. You started out talking about finding someone like you, but in the whole question/self-expression/die mentioned scheme changes the focus and this is an abrupt change back to your primary subject matter. In light of this ending, I would suggest you delete the question/self-expression/die mentioned line and replace it with something that serves your primary purpose or something that better transitions between the primary purpose and your tangent. Right now the die mentioned scheme seems really arbitrary and useless.

Just a comment about the rhyme scheme, try to keep the structure the same throughout (either go AAAA, ABAB, ABBB, etc. for the whole time). Otherwise, it disrupts the flow and makes everything really sporadic (which works if that's your purpose, but in most cases it doesn't). I'd like to see how this song ends.

[Transcendent]

Originally Posted by BBoYsPeeDsTeP aight well it seems you misunderstood my idea,i think,my idea is that my soul is my heart and my brain does not have my soul in it ya dig? Quarrelling is what drove me to leave my post And start to wonder whether I haven't lost I mean a quarell inside me (between the brain n heart) I understand that, but listeners are gonna be lost if you don't even reference the battle betweeny your brain and heart. Maybe I'm no more fire,am I now roast? I lost myself in music and I can't find the way back And that's the exact reason I'm writing this track I'm sick of exposing people who lack,it's wack emCee's couldn't harm me but I gave me a deadly hack when ya dope ya spit fire right?When ya a target of that fire ya get burnt right?so thats the idea,have I become a target...people who lack skills,and gave me a deadly hac means I wounded myself...don't see why it sounds stupid "Am I now roast?" is still the grammar of someone learning English. The concept is there, the execution is not. "Gave me" is incorrect grammar also, detracting from an already awkward sounding line. And hack by itself is what sounds off; you don't mention what you hack yourself with or why. I was suiciding without even realising it was me I attacked Ignoring what I felt I disregarded my soul,thought I was intact But it all pays off now,I can bet you feelin me getting off tact It may sound stupid but It's a motherfucking fact you're right about suiciding had no idea the wasnt such a word and the getting off tact thing is supposed to sound different than the other part of the verse in audio well I hope that clears out some things appreciate the feed

There's clarification for your need to clarify.

To Sketch:

The rhyme scheme is a lot less awkward than it appears, I think I just didn't hit enter at the right times.

Also, to clarify, Babylon is a term Rastafaris use: "Babylon is an important Rastafari term, referring to human government and institutions that are seen as in rebellion against the rule of JAH (God), beginning with the Tower of Babel. It is further used by some to mean specifically the 'polytricksters' who have been oppressing the black race for centuries through economic and physical slavery. In a more general sense babylon refers to any system that oppresses or discriminates against the black race. Rastafari is defiance of Babylon, sometimes also called Rome — in part because of the 1935 Italian invasion of Ethiopia, then ruled by Rastafari's 'Living God,' Haile Selassie I, and partly because as the head of the Roman Catholic church the Pope is considered an opponent of Selassie I and Rastafari. Babylon the Great and Whore of Babylon are apocalyptic terms from the book of Revelation that may have been used to describe the pagan Roman Empire, which often persecuted Christianity. Babylon is also sometimes used by some Rastas with the more specific meaning of "police", insofar as they are seen as executive agents of Babylon's will. Most specifically however, "Babylon" is the corruption and perversion of the Word of God. The amalgamation of Pagan holidays and dates is an example of "Mystery Babylon". Many dates, like Christmas, were merely pagan holidays like Solstice. The perversion of truths such as this is "Babylon". Call it police or black oppression, but those are not the root of what "Babylon" is. Anything that is a lie regarding the truth of God, is the actual root of what is considered "Babylon" by Rastafarians. As mentioned above, police are "agents" of the movement and/or "-ism" that is "Mystery Babylon"."

[_-=FiRe=-_]

^That makes more sense.

Here's a new verse

Chorus goes like this:
On Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night for someone…
She lets herself go like an angel in the snow, she lays down on her back…
Down on her back…

Verse:
To reminisce, of a time, one pervaded by innocence/
Long vanished, but in mind, there persists still the ambiance/
Of nature's gift, lost in time, untarnished youthful jubilance/
Pacific, springtime bloom, petals untouched by elements/
Running down the street, smiling so carefree, flying with the breeze/
The little girl was glowing, curious vitality/
Innocence of mind, freedom filled the sky, Teddy bear beside/
She played until the light set and she had to go inside/
The falling darkness followed her, a shadow on departure/
The sun disappeared a little bit more with every step further/
As she fell a victim to sleep tucked away in her sheets/
The light that flickered meekly was suffocated from underneath/
In a sense she's gone blind, alive but not alive/
Free as a bird with broken wings looking up to the sky/
She doesn't know exactly why she now lowers her head in shame/
But it occured to her that she didn't quite remember her name/

[jryq27]

Originally Posted by _-=FiRe=-_ ^That makes more sense. Here's a new verse Chorus goes like this: On Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night for someone… She lets herself go like an angel in the snow, she lays down on her back… Down on her back… Verse: To reminisce, of a time, one pervaded by innocence/ Long vanished, but in mind, there persists still the ambiance/ Of nature's gift, lost in time, untarnished youthful jubilance/ Pacific, springtime bloom, petals untouched by elements/ Running down the street, smiling so carefree, flying with the breeze/ The little girl was glowing, curious vitality/ Innocence of mind, freedom filled the sky, Teddy bear beside/ She played until the light set and she had to go inside/ The falling darkness followed her, a shadow on departure/ The sun disappeared a little bit more with every step further/ As she fell a victim to sleep tucked away in her sheets/ The light that flickered meekly was suffocated from underneath/ In a sense she's gone blind, alive but not alive/ Free as a bird with broken wings looking up to the sky/ She doesn't know exactly why she now lowers her head in shame/ But it occured to her that she didn't quite remember her name/

Dope

[VicValSwift]

Originally Posted by _-=FiRe=-_ ^That makes more sense. Here's a new verse Chorus goes like this: On Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night for someone… She lets herself go like an angel in the snow, she lays down on her back… Down on her back… Verse: To reminisce, of a time, one pervaded by innocence/ Long vanished, but in mind, there persists still the ambiance/ Of nature's gift, lost in time, untarnished youthful jubilance/ Pacific, springtime bloom, petals untouched by elements/ Running down the street, smiling so carefree, flying with the breeze/ The little girl was glowing, curious vitality/ Innocence of mind, freedom filled the sky, Teddy bear beside/ She played until the light set and she had to go inside/ The falling darkness followed her, a shadow on departure/ The sun disappeared a little bit more with every step further/ As she fell a victim to sleep tucked away in her sheets/ The light that flickered meekly was suffocated from underneath/ In a sense she's gone blind, alive but not alive/ Free as a bird with broken wings looking up to the sky/ She doesn't know exactly why she now lowers her head in shame/ But it occured to her that she didn't quite remember her name/

Not going into detail because I'm pressed for time but a lot of your rhyme schemes just don't work for me. The attempt at slant rhymes makes the lines sound really forced and don't flow too well. You seem to do that a lot in your verses.

[Zilla]

this is sumthin i wrote one day outta boredom :P

hi, call me jason the third
mazin with words
all day blazin the herbs
spacin the verbs
females chased to the curbs
laced with the burb
stuffed like a box of the nerds
am i dope on the face of the world?
no question
claimin the title emcee but losin with no lesson
true dope rappers are rare but keep pressin
cuz the game needs players before we can heat sessions

this is sumthin im just gonna type right now:

im clean like a window
but i dance like a lily when the wind blow
and my stance is the dopest with my kin folk
yet i stay rockin steady like my pen flow ready to ride when shit blow
they call me zillah
im a savage on the mic not a killa
a name thats hard to get ridda
if you wack take your rhymes to shitta and claim the title of C-lista

^^lol lame xD

[_-=FiRe=-_]

Originally Posted by VicValSwift Not going into detail because I'm pressed for time but a lot of your rhyme schemes just don't work for me. The attempt at slant rhymes makes the lines sound really forced and don't flow too well. You seem to do that a lot in your verses.

sadface lol. Yeah my friends always comment about that too. I feel sort of constricted when using just normal rhymes so I guess that's why all my verses come off like that. From me just reciting it, the verse doesn't sound choppy but I'll record it and see if the rhymes need changing.

[B-Boy.FReaK]

ehhh since it looks like feed's been done, I'll just post up mine.

Overplayed beats keep on flowin' on the background/
and the fakers spittin' absolute shit on the foreground/
modern era paintin' depictin' this cultural failure/
but the crowd is too fucking dumb to even think your/
song is empty like the blond airhead suckin' you off/
which the audiences idolize rather than scoff/
at your face for bein' the promiscous monster you are/
the cribs, clothes, cars and the fact that you're a star/
gives you an indulgence straight from the MTV pope/
who put you under the spotlight; the next big hope/
for the brainwash of the viewers thinkin' you're God/
even a drunk stagecrasher gets the people to nod/
the good game's gone, the grim aftermath remains/
true hip-hop's gone and what's left are just stains/
the bane of self-named "rappers" slowly seepin' into brains/
leechin' off our support while our intellect slowly drains/

Open for any and all criticism hahaha

[Transcendent]

Originally Posted by VicValSwift Not going into detail because I'm pressed for time but a lot of your rhyme schemes just don't work for me. The attempt at slant rhymes makes the lines sound really forced and don't flow too well. You seem to do that a lot in your verses.

I agree completely. Your slants are too slanted. They're damn near horizontal.

Originally Posted by B-Boy.FReaK ehhh since it looks like feed's been done, I'll just post up mine. Overplayed beats keep on flowin' on the background/ and the fakers spittin' absolute shit on the foreground/ That rhyme made me groan. That's like rhyming minority with majority, but worse. modern era paintin' depictin' this cultural failure/ but the crowd is too fucking dumb to even think your/ I see the rhyme you were going for but it sounds awkward. song is empty like the blond airhead suckin' you off/ which the audiences idolize rather than scoff/ Decent. Like what you did with it but I think you could've done the second bar better. at your face for bein' the promiscous monster you are/ the cribs, clothes, cars and the fact that you're a star/ Eh. That sounds like it'll flow choppily. Also, I think "at" should be "in" gives you an indulgence straight from the MTV pope/ who put you under the spotlight; the next big hope/ Lame. Straight up. for the brainwash of the viewers thinkin' you're God/ even a drunk stagecrasher gets the people to nod/ Again, I like the concept but you could've executed it better. the good game's gone, the grim aftermath remains/ true hip-hop's gone and what's left are just stains/ Favorite bar so far. the bane of self-named "rappers" slowly seepin' into brains/ leechin' off our support while our intellect slowly drains/ Looks good written down but I don't know if it'll sound good when you actually spit it. Open for any and all criticism hahaha

Your diction needs improvement. The way you word things detracts from what you're saying and makes it sound awkward.

[Backfire]

Haven't posted ish for a while so check it...

called chemistry i think lol

Dropping science time for chemistry with Hennessey/
Others say hydro-gin is number 1 and I tend to agree/
We got more than 4 elements, exactly 1-1-7/
All relevant, these discoveries were bigger than elephants/
From intelligent gentlemen with pencils and penicillin/
My pen is willing to jot on spots around blocks of letters filling/
The page, instilling values of different atomic weights/
I glance at them trying to memorize francium’s place/
Advancing chem’s state, as I floor the scene with fluorine/
To those that wanna see my flow, look at pool with chlorine/
So esteemed, spiting so hot it’s sublimating ice to steam/
Almost forgot my Burns are more watched then Simpsons been/
It’s obscene how everyone that smokes green tries to remember shit/
Got a pot club membership by exhaling a smoke screen/
All these guys are crack addicts but I’m the dope fiend/
Delta9-THC inhibits the brain create jokes from flame/
After hitting the delta9 it seems like I’m not the same/
Pot’s to blame, but legalized it helps depression, stock exchange/
Feeling rising, got Visine to keep the eyes clean if necessary/
I’d marry Mary to be merry if she were a real lady/
Got munchies, can’t even count the carbs I ate/
But add a carb on three oxygen and I’ll get a carbonate/
Can’t battle this, a catalyst break down emcees like enzymes/
And spends time as a rap artist has a list of 1010 rhymes/
All hazardous like crawling in puddles of mercury/
Stellar spits so sick that nurse’s get puzzled when curing me/
Alerting peeps immediately bout to blow up it’s scaring men/
Cause style’s more reactive than water mixed with caesarium/
Ruling like Caesar’s ummm…fuck it just that very man/
I clearly am intimidating, when my verse is illustrating the track/
You argon fast like noble gas while I’m educating a class/

[Aviate]

this is mad bad cus i haven't tried to write in soooo long been focused on other things. Here it goes anyhow.

Yo with no wack i easily spit tracks
So fast just relax and sit back
Watch as I perform surgery on all of your syntax
See your rhythm is miss-matched
You talkin bout witch hats and this-that
Your bit tracks are as relevant as pig fat
Like James Bond I’m secretly foreign inside
Searching for the element, the source of it’s lies
Backbone in revise, no support for you guys
I’m torching the skies, my skills enormous in size
You’re a dead man walkin’, a corpse in disguise
No external opponent, my war is inside
I murder emcee’s the stage is a morgue in my eyes
Burn you till’ ya organs are fried
Check the boxes and leave the order on rise
TOD and the X where the coroner signed

[G.Wiz]

This is a piece that didn't make it into the cut for my mixtape, so I thought I'd get some feedback on it cause I don't really wanna post anything that's actually been recorded before I release it. Not my best, but I DO like it a lot.

Wiztacular.
Lyrically immaculate.
Hop on the track and spit.
Just rip up shit for emcees who lack the wit.
Pack a clip.
With no gun on the waistline.
Cuz i spit bullets at any rapper tryna take mine.
You spit the same rhymes as every other cat who fronts like they bang nines.
I spark a buzz like chase limes.
Break minds and degrade enemies worse than hate crimes.
Illmatic subject matter's never the latter of my obligations.
I couldn't be whack if i tried.
My legacy's prophecized in the constellations.
You stuck like lyrical constipation.
Retalliation obviously ain't your strong point considering the opponent you facin'.
Fuck gun blazin'.
I'ma get at you with a machete till your head and your shoulders are no longer adjacent.
Chronic logic got me spacin'.
Chasin hallucinations and facin' incarceration.
Hip hop has been awakened leavin' you shaken.
Now you know what talent sounds like and your ego is breakin'.
So whats a wannabe to do after he knows hes been fakin'?
And someone spits some real shit after hes been mistaken
For a scrub.
And steals all the respect from the people you got snappin' in the club.
Cuz they remember the roots of the music they love,
and real hip hop rises back from underground to the fans waitin' above.


Eh. I try to focus on wordplay and multi-syllabic rhyming now. Here's another one that's hella old, but shows a little more of my style of rhyming.

Vivid descriptions and depictions of psychedelic encryptions, im the closest u can get to a prophet call it realistic fiction. Grammatically nonsensical yet the wordplay makes up for the fact spiritually moving and confusing like im speakin in tongues on the track. Motivation stems from psychological boosts, like adrenaline feeding the fumes for the fires of ambition makin decisions to stay true to my ideological roots. ima never sell out cuz I supply demand for the truth. Liftin spirits of the youth and choosin lyrics as my route to immortalize my memory so let forever ensue.