[qubixrube]

Well, love sucks... heres my dilemna

A couple of days ago i finally told this girl that I went out with before (my ex) that i still had deep feelings for her and she's all like "yea, and i still love you" and etc. But she wouldnt go out with me, so i kinda questioned it... and then she also would never show any kind of affection towards me whatsoever, she seemed closer to her other friends then me always. So I was REALLY questioning how truthful it was, and then the final bomb hit: They day after I told her (I even wrote out a letter for her to better understand where im coming from) she tells her closest friends, who then tell others. So now my feelings meant for 1 person are slowly being passed around like some stupid fucking rumor.

In reaction to this, I wrote her yet another letter last night, left it with her then ran away. This letter was more then likely painful to read for her, as it said pretty much about what i was talking about (dont say you love me, you fucking betrayed me, etc.) and some other things that have made me deeply depressed (not blaming it on here, just showing her shes close-minded) that she couldnt really give a fuck about. So now i doubt Ill ever talk to her again, even though i still hope for her the best and such and thatll she figure the rest of her life out without me. My question is: Do you people think i did the right thing or am i just making a big mistake (aka being an asshole)? And if i am just being a jackass, what should i do? Peace
_murda

[Pop N Jay]

murda man lemme tell you, having dabbled with them before...LETTERS/NOTES SUCK ASS for things like these...i remember i used to think they were the best method as well...but they're not, just talk face-to-face...for one, it allows both of you to get ish out in the open, faster...it also commands more respect, as notes or letters often have the air of nervousness around them

now, for the real matter...often when there is a very tough situation people turn to their friends for advice...but it doesn't sound like that's what happened here...also, u mentioned that there were some other things that made u sad...well then my best advice is to just let her go...while it may feel real shitty for now, better a little pain now than a lot later, ya know?

you may have left things between you and her a little sketchy, but hey, it sounds like they were pretty sketchy anyways. what you have to ask yourself is...did she really mean to hurt you the way she did? if she didn't, if she was unaware of the pain she was causing, then maybe you were a little too harsh.

[qubixrube]

yea, i wuz thinking along the same lines... but it was late and i didnt really want to have to talk it out...

yea, im a fucking coward i know but somethings are best left impersonal...

yet perhaps i did go a little hard on her with this..

and no, i havent gone to my friends about this either. It doesnt seem like theyd be able to help me out through it anyways, other then laugh. I need some new friends too i think cuz im starting to trust nobody. Fuck, i need a new life...

Anyways, any other advice would be appreciated. Peace
_murda

[tinyD]

Ok I agree with pop n jay about the letter thing…it doesn’t allow for you to see the immediate reaction. Save letters for love letters. And it doesn’t allow you to explain something if she was to take it the wrong way.

In my experience, if someone is going to be an asshole to you, forget them, they are not going to suddenly change their minds like in the movies. Pursuing them will only make you miserable people can say ‘I love you’ as much as they want to you, but to be in love with you, they would not dream of treating you badly.

My advice, find a girl who truly does love you back, and you can share your feelings with without the worry she’ll show the whole school your letters. Geezz, teenage love sucks, glad I’m past those years of heartbreak.

To help you get through them….don’t go after people who are iffy about their feelings, teenagers are iffy enough to begin with, that would only make it worse. Look for someone who is solid in that respect and isn’t a drama queen like this chick you are chasing.

Just my humble opinion…I’ve been there too!

[electron]

well
i think you should probably try to remember first off, that women and men have different social natures

women tend to talk ALL THE TIME about their feelings, and tell one another about the men in their lives, what's going on... they discuss it

what changes as they grow older is that we become more aware of the fact that we're only sharing OUR side of the story, and even if we don't necessarily show it in conversation, we learn to have more sympathy for the men . Doesn't mean we don't tell all the sordid details, just means we're laughing WITH you instead of AT you . ( sounds harsh, sorry)

whereas men tend to share more details and less emotions.

So what she did is pretty much within female nature and she may not AT ALL have malicious intent , maybe she's just doing the girl thing. I wouldn't take it so hard , really. You laid yourself open and got exposed, but if you walk strong and own your feelings, both past and present, then nobody can fault you at all

notes aren't really the way to go

letters are good to write - in order to get things OUT of your system and see them on paper, but not so much for actually communicating with the person... all that's better done face to face, but when you're a teenager it's sometimes hard to even see what you actually do feel as opposed to how you want to feel for someone else and she may have been going through that as well.

your best bet now, is just to roll on
don't act weird around her - be the big person here and just forgive her for whatever went down, it's not such a huge deal, she's still a person, you're still a person. Maybe she messed up,maybe you messed up , it doesn't really matter WHO messed up ( if anybody ) because it's just in the past now, and everybody feels things for someone else at some point in time

[Pop N Jay]

Originally posted by electron
your best bet now, is just to roll on
don't act weird around her - be the big person here and just forgive her for whatever went down, it's not such a huge deal, she's still a person, you're still a person. Maybe she messed up,maybe you messed up , it doesn't really matter WHO messed up ( if anybody ) because it's just in the past now, and everybody feels things for someone else at some point in time

this right here is a solid piece of advice

[qubixrube]

Updates...

after pop n said his peice, i decided to give her a call, if for anything just to be fair and let her speak her peice. She didnt want to talk about it, and only defended herself by saying that she only told her best friend, who she trusts with her life...

What I still dont think she understands is that a life and an impersonal secret are two very different things, but thats besides that point.

So she didnt bother to try and say she did actually love me or even cared for me, etc. All she said was that...

lol, i told her that her other best friends sniffed cocaine This information came because my little brother was a little bitch and didnt know he was sniffing those rocket candies crushed up and that everyone else was just playing a joke on him. So he comes home and acts all funny and i think mabye they did find a stash... untill i actually talk to someone else, lol. Well... that was irrevelent

So for now i shall choice to not do anything about it for a little while. Let her talk to me if she wants to, but other then that let things cool off for a little while.

And thanks for the lesson in gender roles electron, much appreciated
_murda

[Pop N Jay]

Originally posted by bboymurda
So for now i shall choice to not do anything about it for a little while. Let her talk to me if she wants to, but other then that let things cool off for a little while.
_murda

that's all cool and all, but make sure u don't let a (possible) friendship degrade into nothing...what i'm saying is, know when to start talking to her again, ya know

ps ur last post didn't make complete sense to me ahha

[qubixrube]

fine: Ill break it down

1) She only told her best friend that she can trust her life with. However, a life and an impersonal secret are 2 different things

2) I told her that her other best friend sniffed cocaine because i thought she did (info from my lil bro). It turns out my lil bro is just a bitch and they all played a joke on him, cuz it was really just crushed up rocket-candy pellets

3) Ive decided to do nothing, let her take the next move.

Hope that helps, peace
_murda

[Pop N Jay]

Originally posted by bboymurda
2) I told her that her other best friend sniffed cocaine because i thought she did (info from my lil bro). It turns out my lil bro is just a bitch and they all played a joke on him, cuz it was really just crushed up rocket-candy pellets

THIS was the past that didn't make sense before haha...ok got it