Absence.

M0wicz · **Absence. -** 08-04-2004, 03:57 PM

I'll keep this brief....I won't be online for a while. My father died, and I need some time to think some things over.

Peace.

Reflexion · 08-04-2004, 06:26 PM

damn man, that really sucks.. ya know ya have my condolences and thoughts wiht ya man.. i hope you can eventually feel better from this and add it on to your character to become a stronger person.

if ya ever need to talk over msn or aim, just PM me here and i'll give ya my contact

Xu Chang · 08-04-2004, 08:45 PM

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. M0wicz, you have my condolences. In time, I hope you'll feel better. Take it easy, and keep strong buddy.

Mystik611 · 08-04-2004, 11:27 PM

yooo mann thats bad... hope u feel better soon and hope to see u back on the boards kickin it... u have my condolences tooo... if u need anyone to talk to man u kno my msn... pece

tinyD · **mowicz -** 08-05-2004, 09:53 AM

Take care of yourself. It is going to be a hard time, and I feel for you. Although he has left you physically, in spirit he will be there for you I’m sure.

I’m not sure the circumstances in which he passed, but everything happens for a reason, meaning if he was sick etc, this way was better for him and perhaps for you as you will no longer need to worry as he ahs gone to a place where he can be comfortable.

The thing you have to worry about now is yourself…don’t let this incident upset you to the point where your life is no longer the same. I know too many people have done that when a parent passes earlier on in their life as opposed where you are to a point where you have a greater wisdom as to how to deal with such incidences. Try to do things that will keep your mind busy, stay healthy and the suchlike.

My thoughts are with you.

electron · 08-05-2004, 11:14 AM

mowicz, we love you
my thoughts are with you

and you'll be missed here .
take care of yourself

www.bboy.org/ · 08-05-2004, 11:21 AM

sorry to hear that, hope u will get better, hope to see u soon and may ur father rest in peace!

rap_attack · **So sorry! -** 08-05-2004, 11:39 AM

So sorry to hear that you are going through something so painful. We will all be here for you when you get back. Take your time and I hope that that connection that you have with your Dad stays forever even though he is not with you physically! Rap Attack

sueywuey · 08-05-2004, 12:33 PM

man, I'm sorry to hear about that. Hope you're okay, if you want someone to talk to y'know you always have your b-girls

GrandMoren · 08-05-2004, 12:38 PM

M0wicz,
I know how it feels to loose a parent.
I lost both mine.
If you ever need a friend to talk to hit me up on MSN or AIM.
My heart goes out to you.

M0wicz · 10:25 PM

My father had believed that God takes you from this world at your best...that is, when one's "soul" is in its greatest state. I guess that's something he may have passed on to me.

What I don't understand, is how it could have been his "best", in such a sudden time...Tuesday evening, my father returns from work. Tuesday night, perfectly fine...Early Wednesday morning, I'm awaken by my father asking me to take his bed, so he could sleep sitting up on the couch. He had some kind of chest pains, for the first time in his life...Later that day, I'm asked to accompany him downtown, "Just in case." My mom thought it was just some advanced bronchitis, since that seemed to go around the family in the past weeks.

Isn't it ironic though? My father never renewed his OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) Card...And so, we went to the Department of Health, before planning to go to "Emergency"...isn't it also ironic that my father died in the elevator of such a building just after renewing his card? I don't know whether God is laughing at my father and his family, or merely blessing him with a quick unexpected death. I try to be religious, and I don't think this will change that...but it is a thought that lingers.

My heart goes out to my siblings mostly...the younger ones (7 and 4 years old). I wasn't exactly too distant from my father, don't get me wrong, but they're young...he was very close to them...They still don't know...and if they ever will, I don't think I can comprehend what it will be like for them, at this time...be it 2 days from now, or 2 years down the road, when they learn more about death.

Aside from pitying others...I'm not entirely proud of this, but I still have yet to actually "cry." I've never been really able to cry, I've been an emotionally shallow person as of the late years..."Battle-hardenned" it's been described as...which I actually find a bit humorous, because I haven't even had it as bad as some...like Dhalsim...to this point, I've been close to both of my parents. Could have been much worse...

It's not that I don't feel sad or depressed...I'm just not much of a crying person...But it makes me feel awful inside that I wept for a pet when I was much younger, but I cannot weep for my father...though I think that will change during the funeral, and I came very close as it was to this point...and yet, nothing.

Even during the episode in the elevator...at the time, I wasn't very worried. I merely ASSUMED things wouldn't change...but now that I know the outcome, the image of my father collapsing, slamming his head on a support railing...I cannot get it out of my mind...and yet, I could not act fast enough. That may be the worst part of it...Perhaps if I were quicker, be it during the ordeal, or prior to leaving...it may have been different.

Though I realize that kind of thinking is not productive, or entirely "true" (Well, it may be true, but it's not helping any), I cannot help but return to the same conclusions.

So many kind words...so few returning words I'm afraid...there is very little I can say, except thank you. Though your condolences are mere words, they have both moved, and helped me in these times. You have my undying gratitude, every one of you.

GrandMoren · 08-06-2004, 04:58 AM

Hey man,
Its totally not unusual not to cry. When my mother died not too long ago i didnt cry.
Not when she died, and not at the funeral. I think its just a first defense for our body.
Ive been to 9 funerals of close friends and families, so i can tell you personally. It DOES get better. Nothing stays the same forever.
And your family might get a little on your nerves, but dont explode at them, just go for a walk and calm down, theyre only trying to help. And they dont need you mad at them. And trust me, this is bound to happen.
Just be there for them, and go out with your friends. Thats what there there for. And thats what WERE here for.
Dont hesitate to ask us for help, or just someone to talk to. Maybe we have good advice that youd never expect

Take it easy man.

Dasher · 05:55 AM

Sorry to hear of this tragedy. There was nothing you could've done...nothing. He is proud of you I'm sure. I hope you can feel better and make sense of it.
We all love you Mowicz.

Take Care.

tinyD · **Mowicz -** 08-06-2004, 11:59 AM

You know you will be ok. Time does heal all, and you will get back to a normal lifestyle, where the thoughts of the incident will not be plaguing your mind on a non stop basis.

Find someone you can trust immensely whether it ba a family member or a close friend who can share some thought on the matter with. Ths sort of relationship can be a god send, as talking openly about how you feel will be the ultimate release, and it will prevent you from churning these thoughts over and over again in your mind.

I don't know what else I can tell you right now more than I already have, but you know i'm here to talk if you ever need to...I mean it.

Take care, and get yourself out next weekend and enjoy being around others...we'll cypher at B2DU

peace

d

Reflexion · 08-06-2004, 12:41 PM

yeah M0, I've decided that I'm going to come too! For sure! Hey, I heard you'll be coming down alone too... that's a reason I really didn't wanna hit it up, but if you're coming we can meet up and chill and all that!

Yeah man, b2du and first bboy event, here I come! Hit me up by email one time @ mei_ei@yahoo.ca since ya NEVER come on msn!!