Younger girls and older guys

Boni · **Younger girls and older guys -** 09-07-2003, 02:08 AM

What do you guys think of younger girls going out with older guys? As in girls 16 and younger with guys 20 and older.

Personally I dont like it. I just think its weird for a 16 year old to be going out with a 20 year old. In other countrys though this sort of thing is common. I was talking to someone I know online who lives in argentina and he says its not uncommon for 16 year old girls to be dating 25 year old guys. he said his mom was dating his dad when they were 16 and 25. It just seems so weird to me. After 18 I think pretty much everything goes because the girl isnt a kid anymore and should be able to do what she pleases. I dont know though.

The reason I ask is im 20 yet I seem to be a 16 year old magnet. I think im maybe average or below average in attractiveness. I havent had many girlfriends. It seems like most 20 year old girls wouldnt give me the time of day yet I know 2 very very very very hot 16 year old girls that are crazy about me and then 2 more that are just hot. Its weird.

This one girl I work with is 16. We flirt constantly at work. She is so hot to and I love her to death but would never touch her just because I see it as so wrong. Today she goes to grab something out of my pocket with one hand and i look her in the eyes and she grabs my crotch with her other hand. i was like whooooooaaaa wait a minute. I didnt know what to say. It was just so weird because I didnt expect something like that to happen. I dont know. I like her a lot but she was in 8th grade when I graduated from high school. its just so weird.

Im not looking for someone to say something to help me justify going out with her or anything because its just out of the question. Im perfectly content with being nothing more than friends with her. I just want to know girls thoughts about it.

electron · 09-07-2003, 05:00 AM

well ... the problem I"D have with that kind of age difference is that it can be technically illegal . I've dated guys who were 12 - 16 years older than i was , but i was 21 at the time , so it was different ... legally i was an adult . I learned a lot in the process and i don't think it's such a bad idea , really , once you hit 18
but the difference between 16 and 20 can be monstrous - one of you is out of the house and the other isn't . One of you has a lot more sexual experience , and even if for some reason it ISN"T the case , people are goign to think that you're taking advantage of a younger girl . You'd have to be pretty strong in your connection to withstand that kind of judgement . Are you ready to take shit from your friends and her family ? it's kinda serious , and you're going to be blamed if things go wrong . THat can be pretty heavy .

if you really like her , maybe you're willing to take the risks , but if you're NOT ... then just take her hand off your crotch when it happens and say " i'm sorry , much as i like you , this isn't appropriate and i'm NOT GOING TO DO THIS . "

Immorality · 09-07-2003, 05:44 PM

i'm 16 myself and I wouldn't date an older guy, but that's my opinion. Well what I think about some girls that are around 16 that date 20 year old guys isn't a bad thing to me all that much like if he was 30 then that's a problem. I have 16 year old friends who date older guys and if that's what they want to do then that's kool but I think if you want to do something like that then it should be serious not just on looks but how you feel and vice versa. But if you really like then what until she is 18 if she's still around if not then you know than that is was a waste of your time just try to approach women your age and don't be afraid and let them know that you like them. I mean you can't expect anything to happen if you don't let her know cause that's how I am. I'm sure most women are the same as well, cause if you don't tell me you like me or you have feelings then its your lost cuz i'll be out on my way to the next best thing. LADIES know what i'm talkin about?

B-boy Sentinel · 09-07-2003, 09:46 PM

eh...wanna hear sumthin real messed up.
Theres this russian guy dat my friends know,and hes 28,and hes engage to a 18 year old,lolz.

Boni · 09-08-2003, 12:35 AM

heh its not like im coming onto her at all or anything. me and that girl flirt a lot but it wasnt about anything sexual until that night. she says her mom has a crush on me so i would write her mom love letters and ask her to tell her mom i asked about her lol. Then she started talking about hooking up in a joking way... we better stop. I just think its weird that all of a sudden i got 16 year old girls all over me. I think age of consent here in NY is 17 but still thats young. When your 17 your still a kid whether you like to believe it or not. Im 20 and sometimes i feel like im still just a stupid kid. My friend knows this girl thats 15 and her 23 year old bf lives with her. THATS weird. and sick.

Most of my guy friends would never touch a younger girl but for some reason most of my friends that are girls under 17 like older guys. A couple of them have more sexual experiance than even the sluttiest of my guy friends which is horrible but thats just the way they are.

Biggest problem I have with it is that most of the time its the younger girls getting taken advantage of by older guys. I hate it when guys do that. Whats worse is when the younger girl doesnt care that shes been taken advantage of... which is a whole other story.

www.bboy.org/ · 09-08-2003, 10:04 PM

How about the opposite way? boni u know about my problem but i got a girl that i hook up with. Although we havent had sex yet it seems like its gonna be inevitable. Shes 17 and im 15 but shell turn 18 before i turn 16. Would that be illegal(not like it would stop me im just curious). And what do u all think about that?

Boni · 09-08-2003, 10:26 PM

I dont think 16 and 18 is bad because your still both in high school and stuff. Depends on the situation too. I dont think its illegal but im not sure. Even if it was I dont think they prosecute that sort of stuff unless its rape or something like that. Its not like your going to go to the police and tell on her after you do your thing haha.

rayray · 09-09-2003, 03:18 AM

i'm 18, and i'm shaky about dating anyone over 21...my bf is 20, and that's probably as old as ima date. guys that are much older than me scare me. it's like they've been alive too long or something. 16 and 20? i dont think she's ready for it. no matter how well u get along, she's still immature. you may like her, but she might just be playing around, thinking its a big joke. be careful, even little girls can be shiesty.

tinyD · **hmmm -** 09-09-2003, 09:27 AM

i'm 23 and my boy is 21, but that's not much of a difference.....when u are over 21, not much of a maturity issue anymore. however 16yr old girls are way less ready for what a 20yr old may want out of a relationship, however sometimes that's not always the case nowadays,i dunno

meyend trics · 09-09-2003, 09:53 AM

i like this thread...cos its 1 of the things that wonder about alot of the time when it comes to girls...why they wanna date older guys ....and why the older guys want to hook up with em

but is it cos girls wanna be older sooner or what ?

cos alot of girls in my class are talking about dating guys thats 16-21 and theyre 14 ...i dont see why they are SO much more exciting...and even if its only 2 years of difference it feels like an age of difference

i dont see why boys at their own age are so bad ....personally i think its better for them ...i mean i´ve only seen them being interested in 1 guy at their own age
ialso think its easier for them to get involved in some shit...especially for 2 girls i know

but what do i know...thats why im asking here LOL

Dasher · 09-09-2003, 10:23 AM

I don't think age matters that much. Some people have similar personalities..... but are different ages......that doesn't mean they shouldn't go out.

Well I been in a wonderful relationship with a guy that's 10+ years older then me for 3 years. I have gone out with younger guys but most of them just wanted to hang with their friends and/or cars or they were more hyperactive than me!!!

Have fun this is your turn on planet earth be good to everyone and yourself.

Peace

CherryPie · 09-09-2003, 10:26 AM

i think teenage girls go for older guys because they want someone whos more mature. (which, truthfully, isnt always correct. older age doesnt always mean more mature, lol) but yea, all my boyfriends have been atleast 2 years older then me. always. ive only had about 4 serious bfs and they were 2 or so years older, before them i was in like.. 7th grade, lol n i didnt have a bf back then. and if i find a chic im into shes usually a good amount older then i am too. i dunno why, it doesnt havta do with knowing theyr older or more experianced in life or nething - its just what i am personally attracted to.

with your situation, boni, i think if YOU are incomfortable with the situation then NOT doing nething with the girl is the right plan. i know a few people thatv hooked up thatr 4-5 years different in age and it worked fine, but they were plenty comfortable with it. you know what i mean? i say take dominis advice, it sounds right.

Aura · 09-09-2003, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CherryPie
i think teenage girls go for older guys because they want someone whos more mature. (which, truthfully, isnt always correct. older age doesnt always mean more mature, lol) but yea, all my boyfriends have been atleast 2 years older then me. always. ive only had about 4 serious bfs and they were 2 or so years older, before them i was in like.. 7th grade, lol n i didnt have a bf back then. and if i find a chic im into shes usually a good amount older then i am too. i dunno why, it doesnt havta do with knowing theyr older or more experianced in life or nething - its just what i am personally attracted to.

I agree with CherryPie on the above statement.

I think girls look for a more mature and romantic type of guy because the guys in their age or grade range mostly seem more immature or not capable of anything serious.

I personally dated someone who was 18 when I was 14 for 3 years. I thought he was sooo romantic and mature and fell in (puppy) love. I've always been mature for my age, but looking back on how he hurt and manipulated me, I regret the time I wasted. I tried to grow up too fast, get serious too quick. I trusted him and he cheated on me, lied to me and made me feel foolish. He took away the most important thing to a teenage girl...my innocence. Now I realize I'm better then that and guard myself with my previous mistakes.

I'm currently 20 and dating a 24 year old, and I seem to be more mature then him in some aspects and vice versa. Now that I'm older I can make wiser decisions, but its one of those if I knew then what I know now type of things.

I don't think it's right for any girl under 18 to date anyone more then a year or two older. It's hard though ya know. I mean if I could go back, I would have went to an all girls school and concentrated more on my work and dance then getting caught up with distractive guys. ~I just hope when I have a daughter, I can get through to her before she feels the pain I've felt.~

electron · 09-10-2003, 03:40 PM

there IS a shift at 18 ... even more at 20
when you're in your 20's , age matters a whole lot less and in some ways , it's not a bad idea at all to experiment with dating an older man if the chance appears and you like him ( like , by this i mean , a 21 year old and a 35 year old or something like that )
when you're in your 20's you're an adult - mature , intelligent or responsible , well , we don't know that for sure , but legally you own your own body .
But at 16 you are NOT an adult . A 4 year age gap when the youngest is under , say, 17 , is unnerving ... you do a lot of growing up during the teenage years and 16 is still pretty vulnerable . I don't think that it's morally right for an older guy to go for a 16 year old unless the case really is that there is a lot of love there and he's obviously taking care of her . Even then , it's a lot to prove and there are a lot of sideline glances you'd have to endure if you were to undertaike a relationship as such .

My boyfriend , the primary one . is 2 years younger than i am - the other guy i was dating in tle aviv was 5 years younger than i was . I took the flack for that sometimes , but mostly people didn't seem to care - then again , we wern't so obvious about what was going on .
Here , the guys i'm seeing are my age or older ... makes no difference after you're past 25 years old anyhow .

but 16 ?
that's skech . you're doing the right thing by staying away

MiStIkA · 09-12-2003, 05:54 AM

I´m 16 myself too! It is a prooven fact that girls are attracted to older guys than themselves..I have always liked guys 4 or 5 years older than me..(till now)

.. But I agree with Immorality,I would never go 4 a guy no matter how much I like him if he doesn´t tell me he likes me first! No way! It may be old fashoined but that´s my way!

Bout your story Boni..I don´t see anything wrong with a girl of 16 to go out with some1 4 years older..many of my friends hava boyfriends older than themselves..But it´s your choice,if u don´t see that right than just stop it!