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08-12-2006, 08:37 PM
not feelin this beat... at all...
starts with the hook, feelin the hook but u need to lay it out different... pan it or sumthin.... its laid down the same a ur verse, which aint good... but i like the hook....
flow's iffy.... sounds like u scramblin to fit too many syllables in ur bars... u need to pay attention to the snare hits and work on ur syllable count... i've heard u before tho, and i dont think u had a problem with that before, but i dont remember... i think u just got too anxious writing this track... i mean, the flow aint horrible, its aight... ur just a lil off.. and try to fit in too many syllables at points... anyway, delviery's good... lyrics are ok, its give and take... some shits cool, but some shit sounds corny... at points it sounds like ur more focused on ur rhyme schemes then ur lyrics... but that happens with alot of people.. but dont just make ur shit rhyme for the sake of rhymin... dont be afraid to break ur rhyme schemes or natural patterns to say sumthin more effective or use different words with more power.... at points ur verse just come off as a little forced... but i know ur at an early stage and just gotta get that shit out and keep workin on ur shit... i'm sure everything will become more natural with time, cuz i think u have potential... just need more experience and need to put the time in to working on ur game and learning the ins and outs of this shit....
overall the quality wasnt that great but that aint ur fault... i like the hook, but not much else... the beat really bothered me and some of ur lix sounded corny.... but it wasnt all bad and u prolly woulda been able to get away with it if ur flow was more polished... but keep elevatin...
peace.
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Atrain's new track "In the Zone"
Linear Mode
