[Scribedvs]

aight this is the track i was suppose to do with disparage im still getin better with my flow so drop some feedback

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=464873

**edit ** relayed the vocals and added hook please listen and give feedback **

[istolicee]

its a different beat.... kinda like a desperado vibe to it... totally overpowers you though... quality aint that good... sounds like you got the music blastin right next to the mic and you on the other side of the room YELLIN ya shit out... cant really critique your lyrics cuz its hard to decypher... the only thing i can really hear is the first two lines or so... blah blah blah SCRIBE blah blah blah SCRIBE... not feelin it, altho if i knew what you were sayin it might make a diff...

good lookin on it tho, keep it up

[Awe-Dio]

gotta agree... it's hard to understand what u sayin... ya flow sounds like it needs some work too, but i cant really hear what u sayin.... sounds like u might be slurrin too, but i ain't sure... sorry, i'd try and give u more feed but i really cant hear u that well.... keep working on it and work on your mixing... turn the vocals up and maybe try and get closer to the mic when u spit... it sounds like u might be a bit too far from it....

peace.

[Scribedvs]

aight i relayed the vocals and tryed fixing the audio hopefully it sounds better i added a hook too bumpin for feedback please

[Mantic]

wow mic wow lol i can hear you movin it lol

aww this beat is sweet as fuck, i remember my friend did a snippett... anyways chorus... dont ever do that again lol... if your gonna play with the pan effect dont do it on a complete 100 especially not with a chorus.. Ok now as far as flow.. the beat is killin you, you needa ride with it man... make longer sentences then what you doing couse you stop and the beat is bearly gonna end... try to spit to the same rhythim too

keep at it man nice works..

peace~