new track.... Life.... ye people feed up...

Mantic · **new track.... Life.... ye people feed up... -** 11-18-2005, 11:59 AM

yea this is a collaboration with my boy Ob... yea the names been used plenty of times and sorrry awe but i couldnt really find another way to name it... youll see why when you listen.... anyways yea its a deep track dedicated to a homegirl that passed away... i forgot to add that there but bla... ill just post it up.... anyways have a listen and let me know whats up...

peace~

New track... life feat Ob...

Awe-Dio · 12-06-2005, 11:47 PM

i'll hook you up wit some feed since you always get at my shit...let me peep..

hmmmmm... honestly, this was kinda wack... i ain't gonna crit the lyrics cuz of the subject matter... but ya flow was pretty weak, it falls off a lot... and ya voice gets real annoying... you slurring alot too... dont like the effect you used on ya doubles either... sorry to be so blunt, but i ain't gonna lie... the second dude was kinda weak too... your second verse was a bit better, but i really aint feelin this... sorry dude, but i aint feelin this at all.... keep practicing though....

peace.

ll:A.N.G.E.L:ll · 12-07-2005, 07:24 PM

you'r a bitch awe, why dont you try telling him what he could do to improve instead of putting him down, he wont learn shit that
MR."Im so ill", you so damn ill, then spread it out and help cats learn

aint much he can get from
"Honestly... this track is wack"

and you say I got a ego?

Mantic · 12-08-2005, 02:31 AM

haha i apreciate the comment awe but ima go with angel... i am willin to learn but i need to know were i went bad

. I honestly think this is my best track... not the best concept but yea... i dunno but thanks angel on the lookout man...

peace and uppin for feed...

Awe-Dio · 12-08-2005, 09:12 AM

hahaha, angel ur such a herb... that shit has nuthin to do with me thinkin i'm ill... its my honest opinion cuz i aint gonna lie to a dude... so here, put this in ya mouth.

Mantic, my bad if i didnt break it down more for you... it was a quick reply... i said ya flow was off, so try workin on that... keep an ear out for the snare, and try to keep your rhyme count fluid with the snare hits when u write your shit... your bars aint really consistent or structured that well, i know you're new to this so its hard for me to explain without sitting down and going thru a beat with you... but there's times when you jam too many words in and it dont flow.. so work on that.... and try not slurring your words so much, you were slurrin in the first verse quite a bit... your seocnd was better, and ya voice sounded a bit more clean too.... so maybe try to build on that... the hook was aight, but the words just didnt hit me that hard... wasnt bad, just not totally feelin it.... but u do sound a lil more comfortable on the mic, so keep building and workin on ya shit.... you'll only learn more and get better..

sorry fa being so blunt, aint tryn'a sound like an asshole i just dont like sugar coatin shit, but i'll drop better feed next time and try to help u learn from your mistakes and breakdown what i think sounds bad and sounds good...

and Angel, instead of being such a herb all the time and comin in here like a fuckin fag, why dont YOU give homeboy some feed... you took the time to come in his thread and talk shit to me, so why not take a couple miuntes to drop some feed for him in his own thread... get ya head straight.

peace.

ll:A.N.G.E.L:ll · 12-08-2005, 02:41 PM

cause i aint got speakers to hear the track at work you fucking moron, so eat a dick, and i drop people feed so shut the hell up

Mantic · 12-09-2005, 12:34 AM

haha thanks awe i know what your sayin... yea im not to good with the mic couse ive been lazy but ive been learning what use to be my main backtrack... my production.. yea thats important and since i cant get someone to do it i leanred to do it myself... so yea... ill deff work on my flow and delivery thanks a lot... thats some good as feed

peace~

ll:A.N.G.E.L:ll · 12-09-2005, 02:44 AM

aight here my 2 cense..

The echo effect could be nice, but the timing is just off, if you are going for dat effect try and turn the echo down and double it but then on the audio file, shift it like half a second.

as for the flow, some lines hit good, but it's prolly the syllable placement that makes it fall off, something that would make this song cracking,
is when you hear the beat clack, you know that sound effect in the back round, Finish a line on it so it just hits with it, The hook is coo, i like it,
but i think everyone should be turned down, ya vocals are little too loud,

delievery, wise a bit more emotion instead of hypeness, from the lix
it sounds like a deep song, but the energy you using for this doesn't match the song, i dont know how to word it, but its like... like it should be toned down just a step, and throw more empesis on certain subjects that you spittin about, so like the key points of the track is whats hittin, i think that could definatly hit,

i went through the song a couple of times, and then found that when you double you'r words, try not to double more than like 3 in a row, try and switch it up, cause when you do that it puts to much emphesis where its not needed feel me?

and on the hook, just let loose
like make me feel what what you'r view on life is

but keep doing ya thang bruh

Mantic · 01-22-2006, 11:49 PM

wow.... *shakes hand* thanks man that was.. woa lol

thanks everyone on the real... wich this didnt uppin but i had to post this... to lazy to post pm's that ya prob wount read....

peace~

dj.remikkusu · 02-01-2006, 11:36 PM

anyways.. im not gonna lie.. but what i heard from mantic is better than about 50% of cats that come up to me to peep their shit. i mean some dont even have a chance in like a million years from the first bar or some shit.. so big ups to you even catching my ear. the first thing i could hear from you was that you need to fix your voicings, cuz right now its all over the place, like what awe said, your timing is off. try when your writing, visualize where the syllables are going to be placed, then practice it. practice X1000. with that kind of shit backing you up, youd be solid, your voice would be CLEAR and not mushed together (try to enunciate every single syllable, putting emphasis on certain syllables to create more punch), your flow will come much easier. now some cats come and can do that en pointe, but i dont know in your case, you figure that shit out on your own. just keep practicing and it will all come together.

and another thing.. dont try to fuck around with anything else like beat syncing, splicing, or doubling your voice until you KNOW what your trying to do. im not sure if your satisfied with that recording, just letting you know that RAW leaves room for IMPROVEMENT.

peace.

d(-_-)b